SIDEBAR: Getting Started on Sexual Theology

by Cal Carpenter and Warren D. Bullock

Sexual Intercourse: The sign we have entered into the covenant of marriage. I have a level of relationship and commitment with you that I have with no other person. I show it by this: I have sexual intercourse only with you.

Sexual Boundaries: The Bible is clear on what it forbids. However there is much left unsaid about activities between husband and wife. The marriage bed is undefiled (Hebrews 13:4). Remember, God looks on the heart. Above all else, we are to guard our hearts, the wellspring of our lives. If our sexual activities harm our heart or our spouse’s heart in any way, we should refrain.

Sexual Knowledge: What you know, you cannot unknow. Be careful concerning sources of sexual information. Even well-meaning Christian sources can be wrong. Find your sexual theology in the place where you need to form your theology: the Bible. Read deeply; study sex-related Scriptures. Do not rely on what you have heard someone say these mean. Ask the Holy Spirit; He wrote them after all.

Sexual Types: Two words in the Bible describe sex: to lie with and to know. The first simply means sexual intercourse. The second, yada, means to know deeply through acquaintance, observation, and care. Quickie? Gourmet lovemaking? Both types of sex are important in a marriage.