When Two Become One
Understanding God's Plan for Marriage
I enjoy hearing about God’s blessing of love in the life of a man and his family. As we look at the Genesis account, we learn that it was God’s idea to bring the woman to man. After God brought them together, He looked at them and said, “It is very good.” What a goal, that every marriage should be ordained by God to be very good.
GOD’S PATTERN FOR FAMILIES
God designed marriage and the home to model the ultimate destiny we are headed toward — the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. The Lord himself performed the first ceremony. This is interesting because God created woman for the man. However, He did not bring them together for each other; He brought them together for himself.
This may appear radical to today’s understanding of marriage. But stay with me as I look at God’s pattern for families.
When you married your wife, the most important thing to comprehend is that this is something God brought about. God ordained marriage. Not only in the earth, but before the foundation of the world He wanted man and woman to be together. He confirmed in Genesis 2 that it was not good for man to be alone.
God caused a deep sleep to come on Adam and He took one of his ribs, or as Hebrew wisdom relates, “one of his sides.” From this God made the woman and brought her to the man.
THE VISION OF MARRIAGE
Amazingly, God had already set the vision for what was to be and He brought her to Adam so the two of them together could fulfill God’s will. The idea that God brings two together to meet each other’s need is how many view and think of marriage today. On the contrary, God brings two people together to meet His need so the whole home will manifest the vision and purpose of God. There is a mandate when God says to the man, “Take dominion.” This mandate is corporate because God created man in His own image.
In the bosom of the man, the woman was there, and God spoke, even in creative order, knowing the two of them were created to fulfill His eternal plan. By prophetic proclamation the man relates, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man” (Genesis 2:23*). She was called woman because she was taken from his flesh. It is important to remember that she came from his side, the closest place to his heart, to be embraced as the two become one.
TO LOVE AS CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH
Our calling in marriage is to model Christ’s love for the church. Therefore, a man’s first line of responsibility is to be devoted to his wife. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
In verse 24, God made clear His plan for husband and wife. God wanted Adam — and all men — to understand the responsibilities of a man and his wife. This is especially true for those who are in ministry. A minister’s wife is his partner in ministry. It is important to notice that it is not just a man’s ministry; it is a ministry for the whole home in the creative purposes of God. A man demonstrates to his wife, as God through Christ demonstrates to the church.
God set forth several things Adam was to do for his wife. He was to share with her God’s vision for the home because man becomes the visionary in the home, declaring the will of the Lord for the family. But he is not to do this as a dictator. He was to include her. Without her, he is only half the man to fulfill the vision. He makes certain that she is joined to him, not as an appendage, but as a partner, joined by covenant in and to do the will of God. It is descriptive of when we marry and are sealed by covenant, united with the Lord in purpose.
THE PRINCIPLE FOR LEADERSHIP IS SIMPLE
Adam was to serve his wife and, in my opinion, out-serve her. A lot of men wander around trying to be leaders in their home, believing that leading is making the family do what they themselves want. These types of men will always be frustrated. When they forge ahead with their plans and look over their shoulder, there is rarely anybody there. If anyone is following, it is usually out of fear and obligation, not love.
The principle of leadership is simple. The Bible states, “He who is greatest among you shall be your servant” (Matthew 23:11). Do you want to lead in your home? Do you want to be honored and respected by your wife and family? Then lay awake at night thinking of ways to out-serve your wife.
Christ took off His cloak to wash the disciples’ feet. God instructed you, Christian man, to love your wife as Christ loved the church. Remarkably, when a woman sees her husband out-serving her, she tends to get pretty serious about not letting him get ahead of her. This divine competitiveness brings a harvest of love, honor, and respect. If you think you are going to be the leader in your home without being the greatest servant in your house, you are just making life tough on yourself.
God made the woman to have her husband bless her and pray over her every day. It is the man’s responsibility to sow affirmation in his wife even as Jesus sees the church and blesses it in advance of any responsibility. Each man walking with God is to bless his wife, continually affirming her before the Lord, the family, and the world.
—Wellington Boon, founder, Wellington Boon Ministries, Norcross, Georgia
*Scripture references are from the New Kings James Version.