Isn’t Christianity Judgmental?

“Why do Christians always seem to be saying that other people are somehow wrong in their choices? This seems so inhibiting and judgmental.” The irony of this postmodern idea is the claim that someone (the Christian) is wrong for thinking someone else was wrong. But the protagonist is doing what he is accusing the Christian of doing — judging someone by thinking he is wrong. We call this inescapable reality the law of noncontradiction. The protagonist cannot disapprove of a Christian’s judgmentalism without making a moral judgment himself.

So the question is not: Do Christians make moral judgments about the world? Of course they do, but so does everyone else. The question needs to be: On what basis do we make moral judgments? Is this basis adequate or not?

Imagine that the classic issue at stake is: What is wrong with sex before marriage? Can Christians not ask: “What is wrong with anything at all?” Where do you get the moral code by which you live your life?

There may be many different responses: “I do what I feel is right.” (My morals are entirely personal and arbitrary.) Or, “Society decides what is right and wrong.” (Laws are made and as long as I live within them everything is okay.) Or, the response could be anything in between.

For Christians, right and wrong are not purely up to the individual because what you feel is good for you may hurt me. Right and wrong are not even entirely up to society. Many societies have made legal decisions that you or I might take issue with. Issues of right and wrong for the Christian come from a higher standard than any one person or group. This standard comes from God.

The Creator is also the Moral Lawgiver. When a Christian says that he believes God designed sex for expression within marriage, he is not setting himself up as judge and jury and deciding to make life difficult for unmarried people. He is following the Maker’s instructions.

This question about sex is a vitally important question for many in their search for God. In fact, sometimes sexual and moral issues provide the main foundation for a person who does not believe in God. Atheist and author, Aldous Huxley, wrote openly about his motivation for believing that life had no meaning and that there is no God:

“I had motives for not wanting the world to have a meaning; consequently, I assumed that it had none, and was able without any difficulty to find satisfying reasons for this assumption. … For myself as, no doubt, for most of my contemporaries, the philosophy of meaninglessness was essentially an instrument of liberation … liberation from a certain system of morality. We objected to the morality because it interfered with our sexual freedom. … There was one admirably simple method in our political and erotic revolt: We could deny that the world had any meaning whatsoever.”¹

This is not to say that ethical objections to becoming a Christian are not sincere or heartfelt. For some, though, the questions of sex and sexuality are utterly crucial. Many people might be genuinely sceptical about Christ because of the out-of-date ideas about sex that Christians have. How can sex possibly ever be wrong?

It may surprise some that the biblical view of sex is extremely positive. God thought of sex. He gave us this wonderful expression of love for another. An entire book of the Old Testament is devoted to extolling the beauty of sex and showing God’s delight in what He has made pleasurable and good.

From the beginning, the Bible lays a foundation for a Judaeo-Christian approach to sex. Genesis provides the original context for sexual intercourse and shows that God has designed sex for expression within a lifelong marital relationship between one man and one woman. Jesus used these same words in His teaching on sexuality.

God expressed the divine image in both male and female. God made man and woman equally in His image despite their physical, anatomical, and procreative differences. As they join together as husband and wife, they express their unity and diversity. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

Here we have a blueprint for sexual love. Through the sexual act a man and woman have a new, incredible kind of intimacy. The Bible calls this being “one flesh,” and God designed this one-flesh relationship to be exclusive and faithful. Both Jesus and Paul emphasized the beauty of monogamous marriage.

We can approach the question of how sex outside of marriage could be wrong by looking at the beauty, intimacy, and preciousness of sex. God designed that sex happen in a safe and committed context of love and devotion. According to the Maker, this is where sex is at its best.

Judgmentalism is not the issue. We all make judgments. The question is what are our judgments based on. For the Christian, our moral framework comes from God — through His Word. A skeptic will challenge the Bible, but this presents an entirely different question.

Amy Orr-Ewing lives in London and is training director at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries Trust, where she oversees the Trust’s apologetics training program. She is author of Is the Bible Intolerant?