Practical Strategies For Instilling Sexual Values In Young People
Differentiate between virginity (a medical condition) and sexual purity (a condition of mind, body, heart, and soul). Use the four-door car analogy to explain this concept. Talk about practical ways to guard not only our bodies, but also our minds, hearts, and spirits. Every Young Woman’s Battle, Every Young Man’s Battle,and the accompanying workbooks will challenge young people’s thinking, equip them to pursue sexual purity from every possible angle, and help them embrace God’s sexual standards as their own rather than assume that physical virginity is good enough.
Challenge young people to pursue an intimate relationship with Christ (through prayer, Bible study, quiet time, and worship) more avidly than they pursue a boyfriend or girlfriend. It is okay to desire a romantic relationship, but Psalm 37:4 says that God gives us the desires of our heart when we delight ourselves in Him.
Establish yourself as an askable adult. Give young people permission to ask you questions about sexual issues, and tell them to use whatever words necessary to ask them. Teens often assume they cannot ask an adult questions about sexual issues because they would get in trouble for using explicit words. Many do not know the appropriate vocabulary needed to speak of sexual matters properly and can only repeat the words they have heard others use. Give them permission to use slang in asking their questions and be willing to teach them proper medical terms so they can confidently discuss sexual issues with adults.
Frequently discuss current events and studies that relate to sexual issues. For example, the Rand Corporation recently issued a study that “Adolescents who watch large amounts of television containing sexual content are twice as likely to begin engaging in sexual intercourse in the following year as their peers who watch little such tv.”1 Let teens know that youth group, Sunday School, or church is a safe forum for Christians to talk openly about sexual issues. Remind them that God is the author of sex and that the church is an appropriate and safe place to talk about it.
Be relatively open to the extent it is appropriate about your personal pursuit of sexual purity and the stumbling blocks you have encountered. Share your strategies for maintaining sexual integrity. Remember, they need to hear about your successes. Sometimes they need to hear about your failures and what you learned from them. Kids do not need adults to be rocks as much as they need us to be real. This gives them the freedom to be real with us, too.