Lifesaving Practices For Preventing Moral Failure

Recognize your vulnerability

Sexual temptation is no respecter of persons, of denominational labels, and leadership positions. Ministers who recognize the powerful force against which they minister live with the frightening but motivating knowledge that they could commit sexual immorality. Consequently, they take precautions to keep it from happening to them.

Guard your heart

Sexual sin is often the result of progressive steps. One of those progressive steps may be a failure to keep your first love — your love relationship with the Lord. Regular, honest checkups can prevent this from happening.

Guard your mind

Immorality is the cumulative product of small mental indulgences and miniscule compromises; the immediate consequences of which were, at the time, indiscernible. Our thoughts are the fabric with which we weave our character and destiny. When an impure thought thrusts itself into a person’s consciousness, he can choose not to dwell on it, but to replace it with something good or just.

Guard your marriage

Being in love with one’s mate provides the best defense against sexual misconduct. We must intentionally engage in activities that will help build strong marriages and meet each other’s top emotional needs. Practical suggestions for guarding your marriage include surrounding your work environment with reminders of your spouse and children — pictures, drawings, and mementos and try to only speak highly of your spouse in public.

Guard your monitor

In recent surveys by Christianity Today and Leadership Journal, 33 percent of clergy responded to having visited a sexually explicit website in the last year, and 18 percent of these admitted they visit sexually explicit sites between a couple of times a month and more than once a week.¹

Pornography is not just harmless fun that doesn’t hurt anyone. It’s about a dehumanized, synthetic version of sex that eliminates love, honor, dignity, true intimacy, and commitment. The use of pornography is a self-centered, consuming experience that disconnects the person from God, from his spouse and family, and from his own feelings. The damaging effects of pornography on our lives, our families, and God’s kingdom are immeasurable.

Recognize and address the warning signs

Know yourself and know the risk factors and warning signs. The instant you recognize signals from a member of the opposite sex, call it for what it is and consciously put preventive measures in place. A relationship can be headed in the wrong direction long before it becomes sexual. One of the most important responses to these subtle warning signs is to back off early. Emotions are controllable — ministers must keep a tight rein on their feelings at all times.

Hold yourself accountable to others

Accountability among ministers is critically important, yet most fail to seek it. Many pastors in small churches feel isolated, and even those in large churches with many staff can be lone rangers when it comes to facing their moral struggles. It is imperative that ministers find others, whether staff, laity, or from other ministries, who will love them as they are and regularly ask the questions of accountability.

Regularly rehearse the consequences

Ministers would do well to write their own list of specific consequences that would result from sexual immorality. As they consider the consequences — the anxiety, shame, and regret — they may want to visualize themselves standing in front of their spouse or church and confessing what they did. Then regularly review the causes and consequences of sexual misconduct. In a tangible and personal way, doing this brings home God’s inviolate law of choice and consequence, cutting through the fog of rationalization and filling our hearts with the healthy motivating fear of God.

Provide biblically based teaching on sexuality

The church needs to be talking about sex. Schools do, people on the street do, and the media does; but the majority of ministers do not. The church needs to address the issues. Ministers must challenge people under their care to live out the positive, wholesome biblical view of sex and sexuality that is needed in a day of infidelity and promiscuity.

[Abridged and reprinted from http://www.agts.edu/about/alumni_resources/index.html. Used with permission.]

Cheryl Taylor, D.Min., is program advisor for the doctor of ministry program and visiting professor of practical theology at Assemblies of God Theological Seminary, Springfield, Missouri. She also travels the nation as a speaker and trainer.