Steps In Staff Conflict Resolution

The following steps promote church conflict-resolution in Christ-honoring and healthy ways.

1. Do not ignore conflict, but pray about it, confront it, talk it out, and face the problem.
2. Pray for divine wisdom and self-control. God wants His will to be accomplished.
3. Choose the right time and place to discuss the conflict.
4. Be open and honest.
5. Be willing to initiate the conflict-resolution process.
6. Do not be defensive.
7. Be slow to speak, think before speaking, and do not interrupt.
8. Speak the truth in love.
9. Attack the problem, not the person.
10. Listen, understand, and respond to what is said. Do not react.
11. Summarize and restate what you hear.
12. Try to understand the other person’s point of view.
13. Mutually agree to explain further when misunderstood.
14. Stick to the topic.
15. Look for areas of agreement.
16. Withdraw and regain your self-control if needed.
17. Be willing to stop.
18. Be willing to assume responsibility and take ownership.
19. Mutually identify a biblical plan of action to resolve and restore unity.
20. Recommit to resolve if necessary.

—Carl L. Miller, M.A., Winston-Salem, North Carolina