The Minister’s Relationships: The Minimum And Maximum Standards

By George O. Wood

Fred Cottriel, my former district superintendent in Southern California, tells a story about ethics.

Little 10-year-old Johnny came home one day from school and told his dad that his teacher had assigned the class an essay on ethics. So, Johnny asked his father, a butcher, “What is ethics?”

“Ethics?” his dad replied. “Well, son, do you remember Mrs. Jones? When she came to buy her meat at the store, suppose she paid me with a brand-new $20 bill. After she was gone, I realized she had given me two brand-new $20 bills stuck together.

“Ethics, Son, is this: Do I tell my partner?”

I often think of that story when approaching the subject of ethics because of the temptation to define ethics by our own behavior — “If I do it, it must be right” — rather than norms of conduct built on the objective standards of God’s Word.

For those in ministry, two ethical norms control us: “Do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12), and “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another” (John 13:34). These two texts form a continuum between what is least and most expected. “Do to others what you would have them do to you” is our minimum standard of ethics, while “as I have loved you, so you must love one another” is our maximum standard of aspiration for behavior toward others.

Let us apply these minimum/maximum standards to the following professional relationships.

Predecessor In The Pastorate

The old adage is true (and maybe that is why it has been around so long) — “If you cannot think of anything good to say about someone, do not say anything.”

Parishioners quickly pick up signals from you concerning your attitude toward your predecessor. Therefore, give genuine praise and recognition for the positive contributions of the former pastor whether you are in private, in board and staff meetings, or before the church. Do not be jealous of his accomplishments or the love the church may have for him. You will receive the same love and support if you show similar character and accomplishment. Tearing down the former pastor will only result in your own destruction. You never build yourself up by tearing another person down. Jealousy is not a fruit of the Spirit. Resist an unhealthy attitude. Bring wrongful thoughts to the Lord in confession.

There are at least three kinds of predecessors in a pastorate: (1) those who do well, (2) those who did so-so (the church neither grew nor declined), and (3) those who leave a mess.

The easiest predecessors to deal with are the ones who either did well or so-so. Honor that man or woman. Bring the former pastor (or his widow) back periodically for a homecoming or a special service. That pastor earned the love and respect of many in the congregation — standing at the side of the grieving, leading persons to Christ, marrying couples and dedicating their children, counseling, interceding, and helping.

When you have your predecessor return to the pulpit, the former pastor’s backers and critics will recognize and appreciate your generosity.

Avoid the temptation to be jealous of your predecessor. We are too spiritual to call it that when it occurs in ourselves, but I have witnessed pastors tearing down their predecessor even though the predecessor did a great job leading the church.

The need to devalue another person arises from our own insecurities. This is particularly true if the church was stronger numerically and financially under our predecessor than it is under our leadership. Do not begrudge the former pastor the friendships that he may yet have with some members of the congregation.

The hardest predecessor to deal with is the one who has left a mess — especially if that mess involved moral failure. Do not be surprised if people are angry or if they distrust you. The failure of a pastor is a severe wound on the congregation and it takes time to heal. The sin has been exposed before your coming — now is the time to begin helping the church toward a process of healing.

If the “other party” still attends the church, your response to that person will depend on the level of repentance. Remember that the church is a place where people find the grace of God.

You will help the congregation heal much more quickly if you focus on the present and the future rather than the past. Help the congregation learn the joy of forgiveness. You will need to work harder than usual to gain the trust of those who survived the mess, and you will gain that trust must faster if you do not dwell on your predecessor’s failures.

When Attorney General John Ashcroft was governor of Missouri, I asked him how he got along with his predecessors. He detailed for me a number of ways he had sought to honor them even though they were members of the opposite political party. He said, “Some day I will be a former governor and I trust that my successor will treat me as I have treated those who were before me.”

Successor In The Pastorate

You have three kinds of successors: (1) those who do extremely well — the church grows much larger and has greater vitality, (2) those who do so-so — the church has neither declined nor advanced, and (3) those who mess up. There is probably a fourth category: those who so change the direction of the church that — while the numbers are the same — the people you pastored are mostly gone and a whole new audience is filling the pews.

The hardest successors to deal with are (3) and (4). If you have been a good shepherd, you have a visceral reaction to the sheep being scattered. Instead of reinvolving yourself in the life of that church, you will need to trust the Good Shepherd to take care of His people. While they may be gone from the church you pastored, they are not gone from the true Church.

Here are some steps to take no matter who follows you:

• Pray for your successor.
• Have in your heart and on your lips a desire for your successor to succeed.
• Keep any negative opinions to yourself.
• Do not attempt to use your influence with the board or church members.
• Clear all invitations to perform weddings and funerals with the present pastor prior to accepting the invitation.

The outgoing pastor bears a heavy responsibility for ensuring that the transition goes smoothly. Leave the church as you would leave your home when it is sold. You lock the door for the last time and leave — truly leave.

I tried hard to avoid using terms like “my church, my associate pastor, and myyouth director.” The personal possessive “my” connotes ownership. I do not own the church. The church belongs to Jesus. Therefore, when I leave the church I have not left something that was mine. I do not have to go back and repossess it. I can leave it in God’s hands.

Perhaps the most difficult issue for a former pastor to deal with is his friendships with people in the former church. There should be no reason for the friendship to end so long as the friendship does not involve intermeddling into the church via means of the friendship.

Sometimes a church board or congregation requests or mandates that a pastor leave. My counsel to such pastors is to take the high ground. Leave with grace. Do not listen to the siren song of your loyal partisans who want you to start a new church in the community. Such ventures almost never succeed. The best thing you can do is put time and distance between yourself and the disaffected church while demonstrating strong Christian character that blesses rather than reviles.

Local Church Leaders In The Community

In the community, there are two kinds of church leaders: (1) those who are Christians and (2) those who are not. I must confess that I did not seek out fellowship with local pastors who did not believe in the essentials of the gospel: the Virgin Birth, the sinless life of Jesus, the Atonement, the Resurrection, Ascension, and Second Coming.

I did my best to treat them with respect as fellow human beings, but I had no grounds for fellowship with apostates from the faith.

This becomes a difficult issue when we deal with involvement in a local ministerial fellowship. If the fellowship predominantly consists of liberal pastors, it is a matter of individual choice and the Holy Spirit’s guidance as to whether you should take it as a mission to infiltrate that group and help the minority become a majority; or break away and form an association of fellow ministers who believe the gospel as you do.

I found it easier to relate to local Catholic priests than liberal Protestant pastors because at least the Catholics believed in the Apostles’ Creed and the sanctity of human life.

If you take the view that you are pastor to the entire community and not just your local church, then you are going to ultimately develop broad community contacts. Among those contacts will be other local church leaders. Our friendship and involvement with them can help them shed many caricature ideas they have of Pentecostals (and our frequent caricatures of them), as well as providing opportunities for mutual encouragement and enrichment.

Thomas F. Zimmerman, the great Pentecostal leader and statesman, served as an excellent model in this regard. He made friends across the spectrum of the broader church world and thereby greatly benefited the Pentecostal church at large. The high opinion others held of him spilled over into a high opinion of the Assemblies of God and the broader Pentecostal church.

Neighboring Churches (Pentecostal And Nonpentecostal)

I tried to live by several principles relative to neighboring churches.

The first principle was to not get jealous. That was my hardest lesson. I began pastoring in southern California just as Costa Mesa Calvary Chapel was getting started. Ultimately they would grow 10 to 15 times larger than the church I pastored. I kept wondering what Chuck Smith had that I did not.

I received two great answers: (1) I was driving by Calvary Chapel one day and happened to catch my face in my rearview mirror. I felt the Lord say to me, “I like you George Wood just the way you are. You do not have to be Chuck Smith or Calvary Chapel. You can be you.” That was such a breakthrough moment for me. (2) I realized that Jesus said there was an uneven distribution of talents in His disciples: some had five, others two, and another only one talent. Why should I get upset with the five-talent person if I have only one? My job was to develop my one talent, not the other guy’s five. Such a perspective will enable us to rejoice when other churches in the community grow faster than our own.

Early in my pastorate we called all the Protestant and Catholic churches in our community and asked each two questions: (1) What is the seating capacity of your sanctuary? and (2) how many people are in those seats on an average Sunday morning? We learned there were about 12,000 seats and 24,000 people in those seats (multiple services). That meant 81,000 people in our community were, on average, not in any church on Sunday morning. That meant 77 percent of our community was effectively unchurched.

That percentage would be common, if not greater, across the United States. With that many unchurched, there is no need to proselytize from other Pentecostal or non-Pentecostal churches. There is no need for territorialism in view of the size of the harvest. It makes no sense for one church to claim a franchise over a whole area.

Member transfer almost always presents an ethical issue. Early on in the growth of the church I pastored I received a warning call from a pastor 15 miles away. Some of his parishioners had left, and he heard they were coming to our church. He warned me they were troublemakers. I was not convinced his assessment was correct so I decided to carefully evaluate these people on their own merits. The several families involved, over time, became pillars in our church — wonderfully productive Christians. It turns out that the other pastor had been the troubler. We lived by this rule of thumb: do not steal sheep, but feed any sheep who come.

On the other hand, there are disgruntled members who move about. Some have been disciplined in other churches. Be on your guard with these people. You may wish to take the following actions:

• Insist they return to their former church and repent of wrong actions.
• Refuse to receive them into membership unless they have the approval of their former church.

As I travel from church to church on Sunday, I find many churches pray for a different church in their community each Sunday. That kind of mutual public support serves as a powerful witness for Christ and promotes a sense of “we are in this together” among the Christian community.

It is always easier to blow up a bridge than to build one, and we can promote the health of the body of Christ in our localities as we build bridges of friendship, trust, support, encouragement, and prayer with our fellow Christians and fellow Assemblies of God churches.

Church Staff

I have heard it said by a staff member of his pastor, “The closer I get to him the further away I want to be from him.”

Why would a good staff member have such an attitude? Poor ethics by the pastor.

The first obligation of a senior pastor to his staff is to be a good role model: “Follow me as I follow Christ.” As the senior pastor, if I expect the staff to work hard, I must work hard.

It is the senior pastor’s responsibility to mentor and motivate staff members to excellence in life and ministry. Staff are not the servants or slaves of the pastor, they are colleagues in ministry — deserving of respect, consideration, and the gift of attention.

Staff members tell me, “My pastor never communicates with me.” That is an easy problem to solve. Have weekly staff meetings. Meet one on one. Set objective goals. Review performance. Encourage. Correct with gentleness (if possible). Do not take financial advantage of the staff member and spouse by underpaying them, or expect them to neglect family for work, or try to get two workers for the price of one. Do not show favoritism toward staff. Handle conflict fairly.

I always felt it was important to have a personal bond with my staff. After all, we are not a corporation — we are a church. We not only do the business of the church — we are the church. What we model in our relationships with our staff is what our people will become. The people I trusted and leaned on for help were my staff. Each week we met and reviewed our work, and planned ahead; but we also talked with one another, prayed together, and ate together. Collegiality in ministry, from a biblical perspective, follows a team model rather than a hierarchical model for organization.

I would not let our people make end runs around a staff member and get to me. If they had a conflict with a staff member, I would send them — per Matthew 18 — back to the staff member to see it ironed out; and if not, it came back to me. I supported the staff and they supported me.

Psalm 133 compares unity to the high priestly anointing oil and the dew of Hermon. I was thinking one day about these metaphors and wondering why the Spirit inspired the Psalmist to choose these examples. Then it dawned on me: the anointing oil used to invest a high priest came once in his lifetime, and Mount Hermon is so far from Zion (Jerusalem) that its dew does not even reach Zion. So, unity among brothers (staff) can be as rare as once in a lifetime, or never occur at all. Therefore, when it occurs it is “precious.”

If we will, however, aspire to that kind of unity in staff — genuinely loving rather than lording over one another — the Holy Spirit will help us develop harmony in leadership that blesses all affected by it.

One difficult season for staff members comes during a pastoral transition. Many church bylaws call for the resignation of the entire staff when a pastor leaves. This might work well for smaller churches, but typically does not help larger churches. An incoming pastor of a large church should consider evolution rather than revolution — that is, make changes gradually rather than cleaning house. Incremental adjustments and realignments will be appreciated by staff, board, and members.

It is vital that staff be supportive and loyal to the senior pastor. If the senior pastor ethically, morally, or doctrinally departs from the requirements of the Fellowship, the staff member should notify the district superintendent.

I have counseled staff members over the years to leave with grace if they cannot support the senior pastor. Why stay and be frustrated and angry?

It is no sin to have disagreements — and some disagreements bring a parting of the ways. Paul and Barnabas parted ways over whether or not to include John Mark on staff for the second missionary journey (Acts 15:39).

Guest Ministers (Evangelists, Missionaries, And Others)

Early in my pastorate I had a guest missionary. I gave him guidelines for the amount of time he could take, asked him to report on the work in the field where he ministered, and told him I would receive an offering for him at the end of his presentation. He went way over the time limit, preached instead of relating his ministry experiences, and then took his own offering at the end. It was a small offering. I confess I did not add anything to it. My guest had violated the ethical standard expected of him.

On the other hand, missionaries and evangelists have told me horror stories of offerings taken but not sent to them (“the check is in the mail”), or receiving only a portion of the offering specifically taken for them, or being housed in a less than inviting place.

I remember one time when I was traveling the church put me in the cheapest motel in town (even though the church had means). I happened to be going through a discouraging time in my life at the moment, and it did not help to be in a dirty room with crud in the shower. And to make the night complete, a huge cockroach crawling up the wall.

Pastors, check out the motel or hotel before you put guests in it. Give the missionary, the evangelist, or the guest speaker warm hospitality. Unless the guest minister is a personal friend who wants to stay in your home or parsonage, give him the freedom of personal space by putting him in a motel or hotel.

Place the honorarium or missionary check in their hands before they leave. Make sure you have covered their travel expenses. In regard to the honorarium, it is not just for the services they spoke at, but for the day or two it took of their time to travel back and forth. You can never err by being overly generous. The Lord loves a cheerful giver.

For evangelists, remember that no one schedules them at Thanksgiving and Christmas and certain downtimes of the summer. A full-time evangelist may only preach 40 to 45 weeks a year. This means that in those weeks he must have enough income to last him 52 weeks, plus pay his own social security, medical insurance, and other expenses. Factor that into what finances you provide.

The District

When I became assistant district superintendent, I made it a goal to talk to pastors who were uninvolved in the district. One of them, who pastored a large church, told me he felt the brethren had nothing to contribute to him and that is why he kept his distance.

I did not get angry with him, but I wish I would have said, “But, you have something to contribute to us. Look at this wonderful church that has grown under your leadership. You have so much to give the rest of us.” He had chosen to be an island unto himself.

Several years ago I had the opportunity to visit the church in Wittenburg, Germany, where Martin Luther preached almost every day for 30 years. On the walls of the church hang the priceless paintings of the Reformation artist, Cranach. He attempted to put the preaching of Luther onto canvas. The pastor touring me through the church had led it for 30 years — all during the communist rule. He showed me a portrait of Cranach’s version of the Last Supper and asked me to note the position of Judas’ foot. Judas sat at the table with others, but his right foot was pointed toward the door. The foot telegraphed his intentions.

The pastor told me that during the communist years he would bring his young people to the painting, show them the foot of Judas, and say to them, “Do not point your foot toward the door; do not follow Judas and leave the Christian community.”

We are in this together. Do not relate to your district as Judas did to the community and to Christ — with a foot already pointing toward the door. In the revised words of John F. Kennedy, “Ask not what your district can do for you, but what you can do for your district.”

It is the ethical thing to be a supportive and involved member of the district. Hebrews has a good word for us even though that word is often neglected in our democratic style of church life: “Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you” (Hebrews 13:17).

The Denomination

Is the Pentecostal fellowship of which you are a member perfect? By no means.

During my years as a student in an Assemblies of God college, I found myself growing critical of what I perceived to be hypocrisy in others. Since then, I have found that I spot hypocrisy in others far more quickly than in myself. But, right before I graduated I sat down and wrote a long epic poem to myself reviewing my college years. One line I have never forgotten — it cast the right light on the entire 4 years — “There was too much good to reckon with the bad.”

Yes, you can find things wrong with the Pentecostal Fellowship to which you belong. I certainly can. But, I believe you will find far more things right than wrong.

Our Fellowship never asks for blind loyalty. I trust we can all learn something about “critical loyalty” — the practice of an ethic that allows us to question and make changes where correction is needed.

Criticism plays a valuable function in the development of excellence. Show me an athlete never criticized by a coach, a musician never corrected by a teacher, a student never challenged by an instructor, and I will show you less than mediocre athletes, musicians, and students. But, criticism must be offered within the context of loyalty.

I have absolutely no regard for ministers who are given credentials through the Assemblies of God, use their credentials to get a position as a pastor, and then proceed to alienate the church from the very Fellowship that credentialed them. Such persons have no ethical standards at all.

But, we value the person who loves this church so much that he is willing to suggest changes that will make it better.

I will never forget what J. Robert Ashcroft did for me at one General Council. I was a relatively young minister at the time. At this particular General Council I had been on the floor speaking on too many issues. I had all the vigor and impetuosity of youth (my being general secretary today is owed to kindly mentors who had faith in me despite myself.).

I sat at the table for a Saturday morning prayer breakfast with this great man of faith. He had been my college president when I was a student, and later my boss when I served as campus pastor at the same college. He knew me well and had observed me flailing away on issue after issue at the General Council.

He said to me, “George, I have a word from the Lord for you.” That stopped me in my tracks. In all the years I had known him he had never had “a word from the Lord” for me.

He took out a clean, white 3- by 5-inch card and wrote these words:

Let your emphasis be on the creative and constructive
above
the critical and corrective.

He said, “George, there is nothing wrong with being critical and corrective. However, you must keep your emphasis on the creative and the constructive.” I realized immediately he was right, and indeed did have a word from the Lord for me.

If any of us put the focus on being critical and corrective, then we become negative persons — and I have yet to see a negative person who was greatly used of the Lord.

Creative and constructive loyalty will help this wonderful Pentecostal family become more effective for Christ in the days that lie ahead, should Jesus tarry.

Conclusion

We have looked briefly at eight areas of ministerial ethics. How well we do in each of these will be determined by how faithful we are to the minimum and maximum standards given by Jesus for the treatment of others.

The minimum — Do to others what you would have them do to you.

The maximum — As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

George O. Wood, D.Th.P., is the general secretary for The General Council of the Assemblies of God, Springfield, Missouri.