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Spiritual Being, Sexual Being—
What We Worship Can Be Extremely Dangerous

By Steve Gallagher

In today’s highly sexualized culture, it is more important than ever that pastors be equipped to help those bound by habits of sexual sin. Deeply embedded within every man’s being are two intense, mutually related passions that demand fulfillment: sexuality and spirituality. God created sex to be not only a source of pleasure, but also a deeply spiritual expression of love between a man and his wife. Thus, a believer’s relationship with God is often likened to the relationship between husband and wife (1 Corinthians 6:15–20).

Unfortunately, some Christian men carelessly allow their carnal desires to run wild. Rather than seeking oneness with God through worship and with their wives through sexual intimacy, they cross a line into sexual perversion. It is at this point that worship goes awry. Contrary to God’s original design, their sexuality and spirituality somehow become fused into a corrupted, irresistible drive to worship at the altar of sexual idolatry.

For the men who take such a plunge, regaining the innocence they willfully relinquished is no easy matter. What are even more difficult to restore are their fractured relationships with God, their wives, and others. Nevertheless, there is a way of escape. It is vitally important that pastors help men see that restoration can only be found through deep repentance, a renewed, godly perspective on sexuality, and an understanding of true worship.

Understanding the full scope of worship

In Hebrew and Greek, the term worship conveys the idea of physically prostrating oneself before another. The Greek term gives the sense of a person bowing down in utmost humility to kiss the hand of someone superior.

People are continually prostrating themselves to something or someone in their hearts. How is this? Within the soul of man is a spiritual altar, and seated on that altar is the most important object of his life. He may sing hymns and choruses on Sunday mornings; but whether he realizes it or not, the concept of worship involves far more than merely a half hour of singing. Worship is a not just an act; it is a lifestyle in which one pays homage to the object of his desire—which may or may not be God.

Real worship is out of kilter when a person allows something other than God to take preeminence in his life. The object of adoration becomes an idol because it displaces God’s rightful position in the heart. For most people, idols become those things or experiences the spirit of this world offers that cater to the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, and thereby dictate the course of their lives. However, a pastor must be quick to point out that the second commandment makes it clear that God will not tolerate this: "You shall not bow down to [idols] or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God" (Exodus 20:5*).

Jesus said it this way: "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matthew 6:21). Replacing God in one’s heart with an idol is an extremely wicked thing to do because it involves the willful decision to turn away from the Lord in favor of something else. It is very dangerous to worship anyone or anything other than God because the nature of worship is terribly powerful.

Not only does idolatry seduce a person away from the Lord, but it also molds the idolater into the image of the idol (Psalm 115:8). Simply put, a person becomes like the thing he cherishes most. Rather than being "conformed to the likeness of his Son," he is being conformed "to the pattern of this world" (Romans 8:29; 12:2). The man who worships at the altar of sexual idolatry will increasingly exhibit the characteristics of the demonic idol with which he has fallen in love.

The love of pleasure

God created a world full of simple, unadulterated pleasures for His creatures to enjoy. However, untold multitudes—including many churchgoers—refuse God’s original design and make pleasure the god of their life. They are known as hedonists. When pleasure of any sort—even sexual pleasure—becomes the focal point of one’s daily existence, it not only eats away at a person’s spiritual life, but it eventually contaminates everything that is wholesome.

Jesus said the love of pleasure chokes out the Word of God (Luke 8:14). James told his constituents their love for pleasure thwarted their prayers and kept them in a spirit of lust (James 4:1–3).

Moses is an example of godliness because he "chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time" (Hebrews 11:25). And the apostle Paul spoke of those who are "enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures" (Titus 3:3).

While these passages are each uniquely profound, Paul’s prophetic words in 2 Timothy 3:4,5 are most alarming. There are those living in the last days who are "lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—having a form of godliness but denying its power." Undoubtedly, this Scripture refers to those who make pleasure their raison d’etre—their supreme purpose in life. Although they exhibit a form of godliness, in reality, the object of their undying affections is not God, but pleasure.

True repentance: precursor to real change

No minister should need to be convinced that illicit sexual behavior is sinful. However, during the past 20 to 30 years, a transformation of thought has swept the church off her feet. Under the guise of progressiveness, the Holy Spirit-inspired cry for holiness that once thundered from pulpits has, to a large extent, been supplanted by scientific rationalizations for man’s behavior. Instead of being encouraged to seek godly repentance with tears of contrition, the lust-filled, sex-crazed man is given a plethora of rationalizations. This excuses his sinful behavior, and he avoids taking proper responsibility for his actions. This silencing of the Holy Spirit’s conviction is unspeakably tragic because repentance is God’s only solution to habitual sin. It’s imperative that we, as ministers, fearlessly preach against sin.

The sad reality is this: most Christian men involved in habitual sexual sin have spent years riding the merry-go-round of sin and false repentance, never finding the breakthrough into freedom they seem so desperately to seek. In At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry, I explain it this way:

As the (sexual) addict enters the beginning stage of remorse, he will often make certain promises to God vowing never to repeat the same sin again: "Lord, I swear I won’t do this ever again!" As his eyes are opened to the reality of the horrible emptiness and nature of his sin, he readily makes such a vow; for, it is at this moment that he truly sees sin for what it really is.

However, the problem with making such a resolution is that it stems from the man’s own strength and determination to resist and overcome an evil. This sort of "promise-keeping" will never endure future temptations in the same area. It is for this exact reason that the sex addict has attempted countless times before to break the habit, yet to no avail.

The man desperately needs repentance. True repentance comes when a man’s heart has changed its outlook on sin. A man will only quit his sinful, destructive behavior when he has truly repented of it in his heart.

To understand true repentance, one must comprehend the nature of sin. A person sins when he willfully acts on a fleshly impulse to do something forbidden by God. In other words, he rejects God’s will in favor of his own. All who try to find freedom from habitual sin and yet remain in self-will are attempting the impossible. The act of repentance involves a confession that one’s behavior is wrong, a commitment to quit that behavior, and a submission to God’s will. "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret" (2 Corinthians 7:10). This occurs when the person realizes how wrong his thinking and behavior have been and agrees to change both.

The place of worship

As beautiful as it is to see someone truly turn from his sin, ministers fully understand that this is only half of the process of repentance. The other half is when he turns toward God and allows Him to take His rightful place on the throne of his heart. In other words, he must forfeit his worship of sex and begin to truly worship God.

For the pastor to tell the Christian sexual addict that he needs to learn how to worship God often confuses this man. After all, he has been singing worship songs in church for years. Unfortunately, in his utterly deluded condition, he fails to realize his worship has been devoid of any spiritual reality. In essence, he has been living in open defiance to the Lord. However, as he enters the process of repentance—whereby he gets serious about giving up his besetting sin—he can now begin to worship the Lord "in spirit and truth."

This is extremely important in the war over who or what is going to occupy the throne of his heart. His flesh loves sexual sin, and there is nothing he can do to stop his flesh from loving it. But what he can do—and must do—is replace the love of sin with a consuming love for God. The answer is not simply to hate the sin, but also learning to love and fear the Lord.

This brings us back to the examination of true worship. The man who is bound up in habits of immorality has allowed sexual pleasure to reign supremely in his heart. As with all idolatry, when a person worships something other than God, self becomes huge in his heart and the Lord becomes small. By the same token, as he learns to bow before the Lord, God becomes big in his inner being, and self becomes small. True worship only occurs when the person sees who he is in relation to God and who God is in relation to him. A great humbling takes place that weakens the power of the flesh.

We must help a man see that true repentance occurs when he is broken over his sinful and despicable condition before a holy God and falls undone at His feet. There, at the foot of Calvary, he is freed of the hold of sin and is now in the proper position before God. He can now put years of spiritual defeat behind him and begin to put his sexuality in its proper place. Most important, he can now love God with all his heart, soul, and mind.

Steve Gallagher, Dry Ridge, Kentucky, is president of Pure Life Ministries, a ministry helping those who are in habits of sexual sin. For more information call 1-859-824-4444, or visit their Web site: www.purelifeministries.org.

*Scripture references are from the New International Version.