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The Pastor’s Role in Men’s Ministry

(A Call for Pastoral Fathering and Mentoring)

By David A. Garcia

Sidebar: A Mentoring Covenant

In Genesis 14, a war is recorded in which five kings and their armies were defeated by four other kings. In the process, Abram’s nephew, Lot, was taken captive by the victorious four kings (Genesis 14:8–12). When Abram found out, a miracle took place. With only 318 men, he attacked the combined armies of the four kings and completely routed them in a one-sided victory. How did this happen? Abram’s secret was not only to be a godly man, but he also "armed his three hundred and eighteen trained servants who were born in his own house, and went in pursuit^*" (verse 14). Note three things about these men: they were fathered ("born in his own house"); they were founded ("trained servants"); they were fighters ("armed").

Godly men are the missing link to sustained revival. Before we can have effective men’s ministry, we need to have effective men. If the man is the head of the home (1 Corinthians 11:3), change the man, and you change the family. Change the family, and you change the church. Change the church, and you change the nation. Like Abram, we can raise up an army of godly men and route the enemy.

Before we implement an effective men’s ministry, we need to have effective, godly men. Let’s consider three critical factors.

The Dysfunction in men’s ministry (fatherless men)

American society as a whole is becoming more and more dysfunctional. The secular approach focuses on the false assumption that people are victims of society and seeks to blame most problems on other factors such as abuse, disease, environment, or lack of training. Men, however, need to take responsibility for their own actions and destiny. An effective men’s ministry recognizes three things:

Patterns

Sixty-one percent of the households in America today are fatherless. To have a nation full of absentee fathers is damaging. Consider the following statistics**:

• 63 percent of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (U.S.D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census).
• 90 percent of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes (U.S.D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census).
• 85 percent of all children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Center for Disease Control).
• 80 percent of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes (Criminal Justice and Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403–26, 1978).
• 71 percent of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools).
• 75 percent of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes (Rainbows for All God’s Children).
• 70 percent of all juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept. 1998).
• 85 percent of all youths in prison grew up in a fatherless home (Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations; Texas Dept. of Corrections, 1992).

An effective men’s ministry must transform men from apathy to involvement. The pastor must instill the following principles into the hearts of his men.

Principles

1. The head or leader of the house is the man. If the head is dysfunctional, the rest of the family will be dysfunctional (1 Corinthians 11:3).

2. Manliness is Christlikeness.

3. "Being male is a matter of birth; being a man is a matter of choice" (Edwin Louis Cole).

4. "We teach what we know but we reproduce what we are" (John Maxwell).

5. You can only have godliness and revival in a church to the extent of the relationship between fathers and their children (Malachi 4:6).

6. We maximize our manhood when we imitate Christ.

7. A man must allow the Word of God to deliver his past and determine his future for him to have positive relationships.

Developing godly men should be one of the highest pastoral priorities. Yet the average man who sits in our pews week after week is plagued by problems.

Problems

Effective men’s ministry must tackle and overcome the following snares in men’s lives:

1. Accounts. Credit is the new slavery. More and more Christians are filing bankruptcy. Financial freedom is a top necessity.

2. Addictions. Pornography is the second slavery in the church. Lust has become a stronghold in the majority of men.

3. Authority. Rebellion and a lawless spirit grip many men. If a man is not submissive to God, he will reap rebellion and strife in his home.

4. Anger. The pain of the past and unresolved conflict imprison many men.

5. Arrogance. Pride stops men from seeking help.

6. Absenteeism. Many men abdicate the leadership in the home to the wife, causing family dysfunction.

7. Abandonment. Many men choose to run from their responsibilities or are abandoned by their spouse.

The church must rise to meet this growing cancer. Pastors must aim to transform their men and then utilize them in ministry.

The demand in men’s ministry (fathering men)

There are three key ingredients pastors need to consider to have a life-transforming men’s ministry.

Attitude

Pastors need to look at their men as a father sees a son. "For though you might have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet you do not have many fathers; for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel. Therefore I urge you, imitate me" (1 Corinthians 4:15,16). Even if you did not win a man to Christ, you can still adopt him as a spiritual son. If we see ourselves as leaders of men, then any transformation they receive from our ministry will trickle down to their wives and children. We must remember: it is not the pastor’s job to disciple a man’s children; that man is responsible (Deuteronomy 6:1–7).

Most church people look to the church to nurture, disciple, and transform their children and youth. The children’s pastor and youth pastor become stepfathers while the fathers remain absent. This principle is urgent to the success of any men’s ministry. Even families with no fathers can be adopted by other fathers.

Approach

Many churches are meeting oriented; they emphasize the service as the main means of equipping and making disciples. In these services, there is little interaction, no questions, and no accountability. As pastor, you may want to include mentorship, which is more personal, more interactive, and more conducive to making disciples.

When a pastor mentors a small group of men, he serves as a facilitator, coach, and mentor. There is discussion and accountability. Currently I mentor 10 young, single men every Thursday morning and 20 married men every Wednesday morning. We utilize Edwin Louis Cole’s Majoring in Men*** curriculum. If a man is on fire for God, he is called to ministry. Every man needs to be on fire for God and called to minister to his family and church. Even Bible schools, if we’re not careful, can produce educated and trained men, but not sons.

Accountability

People do what’s inspected, not expected. We are instructed to "test all things" (1 Thessalonians 5:21) and to "confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed" (James 5:16). Men’s ministry needs to have a system for loving, personal accountability without dictatorship or control. Healthy relationships need accountability. In a day of increasing temptations, we need to look out for one another. What are some of the key ingredients to a successful men’s ministry?

The dynamics of mentoring men (furthering men)

Although men’s ministries may vary from church to church, the following 10 areas should be a part of any dynamic men’s ministry.

1. Communication. The vision for the church and the men’s ministry originates with the pastor and is then carefully communicated to the men. The vision must include a man’s relationship to God, his family, his authorities, other men in the church, and ministry. It is essential that vision and purpose be written down in simple terms. Without the pastor’s leadership and direction, there can be no effective ministry.

2. Coordination. This is the structure and flow chart of the men’s ministry.

3. Connection. Here is where men learn and are encouraged to relate to one another. The pastor fosters pastor-to-man relationships by personal contact. In any church, the pastor needs to develop a core group of men with whom he spends regular time. We call the men I meet with each week "G–Man groups" (godly man groups). We have homework assignments, in-depth discussion, and the forging of relationships. I serve as the facilitator and Edwin Cole’s curriculum is the instructor. Transforming the lives of men is our goal.

After approximately 9 to 12 months, each man is encouraged to form his own small group of men he meets with once a week as well as continuing to meet with the pastor’s group. In addition, each man must set aside time to personally meet with me two times a month where I speak into his life and discuss his goals, family, ministry, and dreams.

4. Covenant. Each man signs a covenant pledging to attend at least two services a week. Furthermore, he will not take offense at correction from the pastor (without dictatorship). (See "A Mentoring Covenant" sidebar.)

5. Cooperation. Each man also covenants to have an attitude of servanthood and cooperation toward the pastor and the other men.

6. Confession. Within G-Man groups, we practice accountability between each man and his pastor and between the men themselves. We must speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), confess our faults to one another (James 5:16), and edify and not control (2 Corinthians 1:24).

7. Confidentiality. Every man covenants to not share what another man has revealed to anyone. Integrity is crucial and critical.

8. Counsel. Men are encouraged that there is safety in a multitude of counselors (Proverbs 11:14).

9. Compassion. Each man is encouraged to filter his words and actions through the love of Christ. This applies to his relationship to his family, other men, and his job. He is encouraged to be involved in ministry to others and missions as part of compassion.

10. Companionship. Our goal is to establish godly men as the primary friendships in each man’s life.

It is essential that lay leadership and men as a whole not put up social barriers. Men must be transparent with their pastor and other men. Men were created for relationships and for ministry. Let us build up one another for the glory of God.

David A. Garcia is senior pastor, Brooksville Assembly of God, Brooksville, Florida.

*Scripture references are from the New King James Version.

**Information is from: www.custodyequality.org/sys-tmpl/faqaboutus/

***For more information on The Majoring in Men curriculum, contact Christian Men’s Network at 817-416-2898 or go to www.edcole.org.

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