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Table of Contents
Peak Periods of Ministerial Stress
The times of greatest stress for parsonage families are: the first 5 years after ordination, 8 to 12 years after ordination, and 20 years after ordination. What makes these times so stressful?
The first 5 years after ordination ministers are usually in their late twenties and early thirties. During this time, ministers are likely to be acquiring the skills of their calling and going through the adjustment period in their own marriage. Both of these experiences can be stress producing. Marital needs for intimacy and ministerial ambitions for success are often in conflict.
Eight to 12 years after ordination the ministry couple is coming to terms with the stresses of parenthood. Finding time for the children among the flurry of church activities can be difficult. The pastor has to determine how many of those activities are absolutely necessary. This is usually a matter of highly subjective pastoral judgment. The wise pastor opts in favor of his marriage and children.
When the minister’s wife has been active in church life, the physical demands of children may require her to take a leave of absence from her church activities until the children are older. Many husbands are insensitive to this need and see it as an indication the wife’s commitment to ministry is lacking. This attitude leaves the minister’s wife feeling abandoned in parenthood and resenting her husband.
Twenty years after ordination the ministry couple is dealing with midlife issues. There is no mystery as to why this is listed among the most stressful years of the minister’s life. In addition to the usual midlife issues, the tendency of churches to show a preference for younger pastors who have some experience begins to limit the ministry couple’s future opportunities.
Staying emotionally healthy in the ministry is quite a challenge. Successfully facing the ministry requires that pastors focus on staying spiritually, emotionally, and physically healthy.
Richard D. Dobbins, Akron, Ohio
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