Is It Disrespect—or Disconnect?
Building Mutual Respect and Rapport Between Youth and Senior Adults
The meltdown of traditional families, along with the increased mobility of our society, has allowed more and more young people to grow up without family ties to their grandparents’ generation. Many have no frame of reference for understanding that age group. More than ever, the lack of connection is not so much a matter of disrespect as it is a disconnect—from both ends of the age spectrum.
BRIDGING THE GAP
While some youth are slower to trust adults, a good look at their culture may explain their skepticism. It’s not a society they have built. Consequently, many seem intent on setting their own direction, yearning for stability and attention from whoever is willing to offer it. Even though this generation does not dispense respect automatically, it gives it unreservedly to those who earn it through relationship. You can effectively span almost any gap between the generations, real or perceived, by building bridges of relationship.
THE ROLE OF MINISTRY LEADERS
It is imperative that senior pastors regard themselves as shepherds of the entire congregation, actively participating in key functions of students and senior adults, and communicating encouragement and support of their ministries from the pulpit. Youth pastors must allow their senior pastors to gain influence among their students by opening doors for them to address the teens in both structured and unstructured settings.
THE EFFECT OF GREATER VISIBILITY
Allow and encourage youth to fill a variety of ministry roles in the church. The more visible your teens are in ministry, the more likely you are to dispel the notion that students take more from life than they give. As you direct students into these outlets of ministry, set appropriate standards of character, conduct, and appearance.
A more solid intergenerational connection begins to develop when groups, miles apart in life span, start ministering more directly to each other through mutual service, shared experience, and unified prayer.
1. Mutual Service
Teens can be asked to host or provide ministry at a 50s-plus banquet. Older adults can be invited to assist with youth outreach events or join students in ministry at a local mission or youth institution. Leaders may find it beneficial to prime their respective volunteers before they step onto the other’s activity turf—especially when they call on seniors to serve with teens—to avoid prejudicial reactions toward the styles and intensity of the youth.
2. Shared Experience
A deeper understanding and appreciation develops between the generations as they come face to face, sharing each other’s life experiences. Adults and youth have a lot to learn about each other and from each other. Teens can teach technology to seniors who may want to learn more for ministry or personal purposes. Adults who have areas of expertise that may interest students can be invited to address groups of teens regarding practical life skills, such as interviewing for jobs, preparing for college, or managing credit. Once again, acquaint the youth and adults with each other’s perspective ahead of time.
3. Unified Prayer
Regularly call your teens collectively to the altars, asking the older adults to come and stand behind them in prayer. When the occasion is right, ask them to turn and share specific needs, and have them call on God together for the answers. Adults may view teens in a softer light when they see tears flow for lost friends, because some of those adults also grieve over wayward grandchildren. Similarly, a teen with unsaved parents shares a common bond with senior adults whose middle-aged children are away from God.
Youth leaders should train students to respond swiftly when people step out—especially the adults. By standing behind those at the altar, placing a hand on their shoulder, and whispering a prayer along with the altar worker, your students will start a spiritual trend that leaves no one standing alone for prayer.
Perpetuate this kind of burden-sharing beyond services by recruiting adult volunteers to pray for individual students on a regular basis. An occasional note of encouragement will remind students someone is praying for them. You could work this both ways by establishing intergenerational prayer partnerships.
You do both generations a great service by providing opportunities for them to connect with each other on a personal level. By exercising your influence as a leader, you can bring people together for a look at life from a new and different perspective.
Carey Huffman is youth editor for Radiant Life Resources, Springfield, Missouri.
|
