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Seven Habits of Highly Effective Worship Leaders

By Tom McDonald

I have observed a common and dangerous thread in many of my friendships with worship leaders across America: They are most susceptible to discouragement if there is a rift in their relationship with their pastors. It seems a worship leader can cope with almost anything—lateness to rehearsals, out-of-tune bass players, the proverbial sound guys—anything except the thought that his* pastor is not pleased with him.

As with a marriage, the relationship between a pastor and worship leader presupposes mutual respect, maturity, and godly conduct. I subscribe to the maxim: Where God calls, He provides. If you and I have been called to ministry posts as worship leaders, God will grace us with gifts for the mastery of our ministry. But relationships take work. They represent ongoing give and take, and they work best when time is allotted to dream, not dictate; to dialogue, not demand.

If communication is central to a healthy marriage, perhaps the same is true for the sometimes fragile, yet deeply significant relationship between pastor and worship leader. Robert Rhoden, Potomac District superintendent, once told me, "Preaching and worship are the two wings that fly the Sunday service." Because these two ministry offices are so valuable to the church, let’s consider seven habits for healthy communication.

1. A SPIRIT OF FORGIVENESS

The Christian life thrives on our ability to forgive. What we do not forgive, we become. Harboring resentment opens the door to bitterness and sets in motion a downward cycle of anger, disloyalty, and gossip. Once polluted, the soul suffers, and the anointing we so desperately need may wane. Let us guard our hearts and live in a daily spirit of forgiveness.

2. A HEART OF LOYALTY

Loyalty is a virtue. On a healthy pastoral staff, two types of loyalty exist: upward and downward. Upward loyalty is the kind a worship leader extends to his pastor. For example, if a parishioner complains to a worship leader about the pastor’s methods, the loyal worship leader will not validate that parishioner’s notions, but will lovingly support the pastor. Downward loyalty is the kind a pastor gives to his/her staff associate(s).

When loyalty is strong, the devil’s darts are repelled. Beware: When a colleague has offended us, our flesh begs for a demonstration of disloyalty.

3. A WILLINGNESS TO SERVE

Beyond the virtue of mutual support evidenced in loyalty, the Scriptures portray our Lord Jesus as a servant. He washed His disciples’ feet. I encourage you to look beyond your portfolio of preparing, rehearsing, and presenting worship and move into proactivity with your pastor. Become sensitive to your pastor’s needs. On the platform, watch him as he preaches. Take notes. If the sermon speaks to you, telephone or write him. Give him a comforting tap on the shoulder. Pray with him…often. Leadership is a lonely vocation.

4. A TRUSTWORTHINESS OF TONGUE

Credibility is proportional. The more painstakingly ardent we are at keeping confidences, the greater our credibility. Just as we would never expose our spouses, we should never violate our pastors’ confidence. This is a basic issue of integrity (Proverbs 16:1,32). Families and congregations are built or breached on this solitary ideal. What an irony. The singer’s golden tone will quickly tarnish into a brassy tongue of deceit if gossip is given room in our personal or corporate lives. Develop the discipline of the tongue.

5. A DESIRE TO SHARE

The ability to be a team player is an asset. I enjoy reading biographies of coaches to gain insight into this concept. Teams win when athletes work together, supporting and defending each other. So do pastoral staffs.

Over the years, I have concluded that secure people share; insecure people hoard, defend turf, and build walls. Sharing ideas, personnel, and departmental equipment with colleagues will begin to countermand a hoarding spirit. Yet, serving your pastor with your time is the acid test. When did you last volunteer to assist in the nursery when it was full? or offer to take the beeper as pastor-of-the-day? "Give, and it will be given"** (Luke 6:38).

6. A CONSTRUCTIVE CRITIQUE

Any long-term relationship most assuredly contains the element of trust. A pastor must trust his worship leader; a worship leader must trust his pastor. Trust grows as advice is heeded and outcomes prove fruitful. We are, however, human beings—wounded healers who occasionally conceive a faulty plan or a bad idea. It is then that the pastoral relationship is tested. Some pastors only want yes men. Some worship leaders wear their feelings on their sleeves and cannot handle a constructive word without being temperamental. Somewhere in the middle lies maturity—the ability to assess ideas, an environment of mutual trust and respect. Debunking a bad idea before it goes public is always a gift to a leader who is secure.

7. A COMMITMENT TO LOVE

Ultimately, security only comes through our relationship with Jesus, as we honor His Word. Read 1 Corinthians 13 afresh, keeping your pastor in mind. Focus on verses 4–8. Memorize them. Choose to live in the value system the Scripture offers, so when people let you down, you will recall the commitment:

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast,

It is not proud.

It is not rude,

It is not self-seeking,

It is not easily angered,

It keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.

Love never fails.

Tom McDonald, Ph.D., is minister of music at the Church on the Way, Van Nuys, California, and commissioner of Church Worship for the Assemblies of God.

*While many worship leaders are women, the masculine form is used in this article for readability.

**Scripture references are from the New International Version.