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Table of Contents
Capturing the Heart of Millennial Youth
Interview with Jeanne Mayo, Josh McDowell, and Ron Luce
WHAT ARE SOME CHARACTERISTICS OF TODAY’S YOUTH?
MAYO: Due to a lack of family ties, today’s youth are deeply committed to friendships. Friends hold immeasurably more influence than other voices in their lives. I tell my young people, "Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future." Youth ministry that doesn’t build positive peer pressure and deal with friendships is going to be short lived and not very effective.
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Youth ministry that doesn’t build positive peer pressure and deal with friendships is going to be short lived and not very effective.
–Mayo |
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LUCE: Many of the needs of youth are the same as they have been in the past. Teens need love, relationships, and acceptance. The difference today is the busyness in families and society. One of the problems we have is with the fatherless and those without strong family relationships. As the result of divorce or busyness, there is a huge deficit in relationships. Those in youth ministry many times become surrogate parent figures to the young people to whom they are ministering.
There is also a lack of personal relationships that is derived from high-tech toys, videos, and CDs. Another huge piece of youth culture is the Internet. It is impacting relationships and the ability of young people to socialize and build friendships. As well, the Internet has tremendous negative influence in the way it reaches into their bedrooms and corrupts them. This makes it harder for relationship needs to be met.
Studies show today’s young people are more willing to give their lives to a cause. This indicates their need to live for a purpose rather than live for fun, money, or whatever brings excitement. Trends in youth culture—a seriousness in their walk with the Lord—is compounded across the nation by many young people who aren’t just concert-going, screaming, wild teens at Christian events. There is a seriousness that is brewing in the level of commitment among young people.
MCDOWELL: This generation feels less loved than any generation in 50 years, and they are striving for love. Two words describe this generation: abandoned and disconnected. They feel much more abandoned by adults than did Busters. Christian and secular studies also include the words connected or disconnected to describe this generation.
Over one-third of all teenagers feel extremely stressed out. This is the highest rate of any age group.
Today’s teens are more committed to relationships, but not so much a commitment and loyalty to friends. The average teenager changes his or her best friend every 2 to 3 years. That has never happened before.
This generation is self-reliant and independent. They have given up on the church and parents. From about 16 to 17 years of age and younger, their attitude is: If it’s going to happen, I am going to have to do it. God is not in their formula for the future.
There is good in what I call the mosiac or the third millennium teen—those 17 years old and younger. This generation is extremely optimistic. They believe one person can make a difference and can change the world. But God is not a part of their formula.
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The only thing that will keep our young people in church is relationships plus substance, or truth in the context of relationships.
–McDowell |
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Only one in six teenagers today say they are interested in truth. Ninety-one percent of Christian young people believe truth is relative—there is no truth apart from themselves. This is not in cement, though; they often choose the route of least resistance. But they’re not making choices based on their convictions. Forty-six percent of 13- to 18-year-olds today cannot even tell you why they believe something, or name a person, book, or seminar that has ever convinced them that truth was relevant. That’s the highest percentage ever recorded. Today’s Christian young people may say the Bible is true and reliable, but we have never had a generation so quick to disregard biblical truth that doesn’t fit its lifestyle. In the next 5 to 7 years, the church can play a powerful part in establishing the truth of the Scriptures in the lives of young people.
Here are some contradictions. When you talk with young people, they are positive about their families. But when you interact with them, they say they expect less from their families. They have given up on their parents. A teen may say, "If I just have a little time with Dad, it’s great." The reason: Teens are afraid to expect more because they don’t want to be hurt again.
Research shows the number one person in the average family committed to family is not mom, dad, grandma, or grandpa—it’s the teenager. But it’s not commitment to his or her immediate family. Its commitment to the family they believe they can create. Ninety-five percent of 13- to 17-year-olds say they believe a person should be married to one person for life—we’ve never before had that high of a statistic.
Seventy-eight percent of young people say, "My parents are the number one influence in my life and what I believe." Teachers were rated number two (16 percent). Youth pastor and pastor are 2 or 3 percent.
Teenagers are very active in faith activities, but they are absorbing very little value out of those religious activities. Most people think those attending the youth group today will be the churchgoers tomorrow. This is the first generation where that is not true. Rather, youth attendees today will not be in church tomorrow. And especially the leaders of teenagers today will not be in church tomorrow.
In the last 20 years, when a young person was asked, "When you leave home and go to college, will church still play a vital part in your life?" 50 to 78 percent answered yes. Now less than 33 percent answer yes to this question. And these are Christian young people. Within 18 months, many denominations will lose between 85 and 90 percent of their high school graduating seniors.
Busters are getting married, having children, and returning to the church. But it won’t happen with this current generation of young people for three reasons. First, with Busters, church and spirituality are in the top five things they are striving for in life. With the mosaic generation, spiritual things and church aren’t even in the top seven things they want out of life. There isn’t a commitment to spirituality that will bring them back into church.
Second, 85 percent of 13- to 17-year-olds believe there is meaning to life. And they are striving for meaning in their lives. One of the biggest things they are striving for is education. Mosaics believe education will make up for the parents and the adults who have abandoned them. But the difference with this generation and Busters is Busters’ greatest motivation for education was to please their parents and accomplish their lifestyle. With 13- to 17-year-olds, they will rely on themselves, not their parents, not the church.
Last, this generation of teenagers has beliefs, but they don’t have any convictions. When young people can take a belief and rationalize it through to the logical reason of why they believe it, it becomes a conviction. But biblically, it becomes a conviction when it affects the way they live. I rarely find young people who can tell me why they believe Jesus is the Son of God and why the Bible is the inspired Word of God. Most reply, "Because my parents taught me." Our Christian young people today are taking the road of least resistance, and that’s moral relativism, not conviction. Average Christian young people today know so little, not only what they believe, but why they believe it, that they’re not speaking up.
Relationships are the main reason young people attend church for the first time. They come because their friends invited them. But the only thing that will keep our young people in church is relationships plus substance, or truth in the context of relationships.
HOW CAN YOUTH MINISTRY TODAY BECOME MORE RELEVANT?
MAYO: We have a visitor-friendly youth group, and we have substance. We call for the lordship of Christ and clarion commitment to Him. We ask our teens to pick up their crosses and follow Jesus. And the young people know I am going to challenge them. When they ask friends to come, they know they are not going to hear a watered-down message. They will hear a straight shot on Jesus as Lord. Our young people are not ashamed to bring their friends. As a matter of fact, there is a hunger for a challenge that’s worthy of that kind of abandonment.
Teens want me and the other people on our team to present the gospel in a relevant fashion. I don’t embarrass them by some word choices or by the clothing I wear. I take young people from my youth group shopping when I’m buying things to wear in a youth service. I don’t think everybody’s going to leave the youth service if I don’t look a certain way, but having a relevant appearance that my young people are proud of is something with which I need a little help.
My young people bring their friends to a youth gathering where we’re talking about topics that are relevant. I can do an exegesis on the tabernacle and the Holy of Holies, but I’d better come to the core of where they are in the trenches and make the message relevant.
Teens also want to know that you really care about them. And when you are revelant, it shows that you care.
MCDOWELL: Truth must be taught in the context of relationships. If we don’t teach truth to young people today in a way where they see how it affects them personally, their relationships, and their relationship with God, it will be rejected.
Second, I agree with Jeanne on the lordship challenge. Teens believe the world needs to be changed and that one person can change the world. They really want meaning and purpose in life.
LUCE: If you are not relevant, you could have the greatest message in the world but no one will receive it. The best thing we can do to be relevant is to be ourselves. You don’t necessarily have to dress like them, talk like them, or act like them to be relevant. I met a 70-year-old youth pastor who loves his teenagers and his teenagers love him. It is not about age; it’s about being real. Senior pastors can be relevant by just being themselves. The best parents in the world are those who are relevant and who are real with their young people.
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When we disciple our teens, our youth ministries in local churches will grow.
–Luce |
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WHAT IS THE SECRET TO REACHING YOUTH IN THE 21ST CENTURY?
LUCE: You must be able to speak the timeless message of the gospel in a way that they are used to getting information—MTV-style bites of information—rather than making them listen to an intellectual sermon. Another area would be in relationships. This world is becoming more and more isolated. We need to wrap our arms around our teenagers and train leaders so they can develop relationships with teens. This will show love to teens and draw them into our youth groups. Everyone needs love and fewer and fewer are getting it.
I believe we can have an incredible revolution with the young people of this generation. For this to happen, youth pastors need to have a vision for their city or town and multiply the scope of their ministry by multiplying the number of teens through a quality youth ministry. When we disciple our teens, our youth ministries in local churches will grow.
MAYO: When I started in youth ministry 30 years ago, you could give young people a Bible after they got saved, tell them to come to church and youth group, and they were on their way. Now, to have life-lasting impact, we need to be intentional in our approach to follow-up, getting them involved with Christian friends who will help them grow in Christ. If we do not incorporate them into one of our small discipleship groups within 4 weeks of their decision to follow Christ, the chances of retaining them drops to about 10 percent. If we our going to retain teens, we need to help them change their circle of friends. They need friends who have the same goals, dreams, and convictions.
One of the things I changed was our method of communication. This generation responds to videos, computers, drama, creative arts, sound, lights. Years ago, I did not think these things were important. The message obviously remains the same, but I need to use methods that will connect with this culture.
Youth pastors also need to show their young people that they care for them. Teenagers who sense that you really care about them will tolerate other things in youth ministry.
MCDOWELL: The youth pastor has to be a model of integrity and be real. If not, today’s teens will reject what he preaches. If the senior pastor isn’t relevant to young people (when he speaks, young people need to understand him), and if he doesn’t have a phenomenal relationship with his wife and spend time with his children, he is almost irrelevant to those young people when he preaches. Four times a year, every pastor should spend time with the young people, not preach or talk, but interact with them and listen to them. When he answers their questions, he shouldn’t be judgmental, and he should take longer than 2 minutes answering a question.
Youth pastors need to build bridges between their students and the adults in the church. Many teens distrust adults. We have to win the respect of teenagers. A youth pastor needs to have the deacons and elders spend time with the young people in a social atmosphere. Let the deacons share their testimonies, and then listen to the young people. That would help draw young people into the church. If a youth pastor today doesn’t work toward building trust, when young people leave home and go to college, he will have lost them.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO PASTORS WHO LIMIT THEIR YOUTH PASTORS BY NOT ALLOWING THEM TO USE CONTEMPORARY METHODS OF MINISTRY TO REACH AND KEEP TEENS?
MAYO: I respect their viewpoint, but worldliness is an issue of heart and attitude, not an issue of the exterior things we concentrate on. And if pastors are unwilling to let their youth pastors move into the 21st century, they must not blame them for less than effective results.
The methods we use are not sacred; the message is. If we persist in being old wineskins, calling it conviction, purity, and holiness, we will have results that will also be cracked.
MCDOWELL: One of the top three items in the job description of the youth director should be to help parents relate to their children. Yet, I don’t know of a church where that’s even a part of the job description. To be relevant today, young people are taking their spiritual cues from their parents. Churches need to help parents.
But many youth pastors are treated like second-class citizens. They’re paid that way, and they have no authority but all the responsibility. They’ve got to please everyone. Parents won’t listen to them. When a youth director starts to talk to a parent (unless the youth pastor has children who are grown), the parent thinks, Wait until you are married, or until you have two or three young children—see how you will talk. You haven’t been around like I have been.
WHAT DO YOU SEE AS THE PASTOR’S PRIMARY ROLE IN YOUTH MINISTRY IN THE 21ST CENTURY?
LUCE: It is imperative for senior pastors to be completely committed to youth ministry with their hearts and with their budgets. It can be easy to subcontract our love for teenagers by hiring a youth pastor. But youth pastors need their senior pastors’ support. The church needs to hear the senior pastor talk about the youth ministry and back it up with resources. It is impossible to see a youth revolution in America without the senior pastor (and fathers) turning their hearts towards the young people. Malachi talks about this. As the teenage population explodes, the body of Christ—especially those with the decision-making power in the local church—need to get absolutely and completely involved in the ministry.
People on Madison Avenue and in marketing are excited about the young people who have money to spend on CDs, shoes, and clothes. If they are excited about going after young people, shouldn’t we be also? The leaders in the body of Christ—not just youth pastors—need to be more committed and passionate about reaching young people with the gospel. It is our job to influence them while they are young. Ninety percent of those who give their hearts to the Lord do so before they are 20 years old. We must capture their hearts while they are young, and it is going to take a commitment from senior pastors to realize the need and the strategy to make a difference in this generation.
MCDOWELL: The senior pastor has to model objective truth. He must not only teach what the Bible says; he must live it. Sixty-five percent of what young people learn is from what they see, not what they hear or read. For youth ministry, senior pastors need to build a bridge to the young people.
The number one thrust of the church must be to help families relate to their children. Christian parents are not relating to their children. The second thrust should be evangelism and discipleship.
In today’s culture, we must bring family ministry and youth ministry together under one head in the church. Then under that one head is youth coordinator (like a youth pastor) and the family coordinator (because parents will listen to the family coordinator). If we don’t bring family and youth ministry together, we are not going to truly help young people by helping their parents.
MAYO: First, if a senior pastor likes teenagers, he has done his youth pastor or youth leaders an enormous amount of good. It can be through occasionally dialoging with the young people. An even more powerful format is to show up at their socials. My young people hear me when I speak at the youth service, but I make a bigger impact when I attend their functions. I went to a couple of birthday parties one weekend, and I didn’t have time to go, but the young people responded to my being there. If senior pastors can overcome the awkwardness or insecurity they might feel and go to where youth hang out, they will make a tremendous impact on them.
Second, senior pastors need to realize that the congregation will mirror their attitude toward the youth and the ministry. With that comes the courage to allow youth leaders to do things that may be out of the comfort zone of the senior pastor. I often say to senior pastors, "If the music in the youth service is not too loud for your liking, it’s not loud enough for the young people in your youth group. And if you don’t have some young people somewhere out on your church parking lot smoking or doing some other things you don’t want on Wednesday evening, you probably aren’t drawing the right young people."
The senior pastor needs to realize Jesus didn’t die for just the church teens. We certainly need to honor, revere, cherish, and take great care of the young people who fit into the mold of church teens. But there are young people in the church who are not what parents think they are. If young people come who don’t meet our standards and we reject them, some may be lost for eternity.
Finally, the senior pastor needs to release more finances to the youth ministry. Statistics vary, but the largest percentage of the church’s finances is spent on adult ministry and other related things. But children and youth ministries produce the largest number of conversions. The average church puts minimal financial resources into the youth area. It is a deadly trend.
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