1. Sharing private matters with a person of the opposite sex before sharing them with your spouse.
   
   
2. Spending inordinate amounts of time with this person.
   
   
3. Finding more delight in being with this person than with your spouse.
   
   
4. Thinking this person understands you better than your spouse.
   
   
5. Being unwilling to hear the warnings of others and stubbornly maintaining this platonic relationship.
   
   
6. Feeling youthful or "high" around this person.
   
   
7. Developing romantic feelings for this person that you try to transfer to your spouse.
   
   
8. Being defensive when you try to keep from admitting you are into something wrong. Instead, you accuse others of attacking you when they are really trying to warn you.
   
   
9. Looking for opportunities to be with this person, away from the scrutiny of others.
   
   
10. Finding reason to avoid the wise counsel of friends while accepting the unwise counsel of fools.

John Sanford in his book, Why Some Christians Commit Adultery (Victory House, 1989).