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Building a "Call-Driven" Singles Ministry

By Rich Hurst

Have you heard the concern in the missions world about the 10/40 window? No, it’s not a special tax form for missionaries. It is a rectangle-shaped belt that extends from West Africa across Asia—between 10 and 40 degrees north of the equator—where most of the world’s unreached people live. Missiologists believe that if we are serious about giving every person an opportunity to respond to the love of Christ, we must concentrate on this region of the world.

There is an equally strategic window in America; it is the 20/50 window and includes the single adults in their twenties through fifties. Just as the 10/40 window is strategically important to cross-cultural evangelism, the 20/50 window is key to reaching the most unreached group in North America.

SINGLE ADULTS ON THE RISE

Single adults continue to be the fastest-growing marital demographic in America. At the same time, they are under-represented in our churches. In the last 20 years, overall church attendance is down 35 percent. During the same period, the number of singles in this country has increased dramatically. The decline in the numbers attending churches may have come from a failure to reach single adults rather than a massive desertion of church members.

According to the Statistical Abstract of the United States, 1998, the largest group of single adults (24 percent) is the never-married. This is compared to widows (7 percent) and the divorced (9 percent). Most unmarried are between 25 and 44 years of age. With singles representing 41 percent of the entire adult population, vast numbers are in this group.

CALL-DRIVEN MINISTRY

Carl George believes that if the church is going to grow in the next century, it must be serious about reaching single adults. The key to this is building a "call-driven" singles ministry. I recently had a chance to witness the birth of such a ministry.

Michael, a singles pastor, had invited me to join him for lunch with a parishioner named Sarah. He mentioned his concern that he was not addressing the needs of all the single adults at his church. He had two groups of single adults: those in their early twenties, called Singles One, and those in their late forties, called Singles Two. But the church had many singles in an age bracket between these two groups. Michael referred to them as the Singles 1.5. Sarah fit into this group. He had been trying for months to get Sarah and her friends to start a class for their group, but they wouldn’t do it, and he was frustrated. My job at lunch was to convince her to start a class for the 1.5ers at their church.

I asked, "Sarah, Michael tells me there are a good number of 1.5ers at the church. Is that true?"

She laughed at the label and said, "Yes, there are."

I said, "Well, why don’t you start a class for singles that age?"

She said, "We don’t want to." I could tell she was not happy about my questions, so I dropped the subject.

A few minutes later I asked, "Sarah, if you could do anything for God in your church or community, what would you do?"

She replied, "What are you talking about?"

I said, "If you could get involved in some ministry, what would it be?"

She told me that she and some of her friends had been talking about getting involved in a literacy program down the street from the church.

I interrupted, "You and some of your friends. What friends?"

She said, "You know, the 1.5ers."

I blurted out, "That’s great. On Monday Michael will call them and set up an appointment for you all to go there and discuss getting involved."

She was delighted. Michael, however, looked confused. A few minutes later, I again asked Sarah, "If you could do

anything for God in the whole world, what would you do? What would you do if money, education, or time weren’t issues? What is your dream?"

She began to talk about the desire she and some of her friends had to go on a short-term missions trip to Romania to work with babies who have AIDS.

I said, "Sarah, get your friends together for a meeting to begin planning for that trip."

She laughed and said, "I like this kind of ministry."

I looked at Michael and said, "I guess you have your Singles 1.5er’s ministry."

Michael and Sarah took our meeting seriously. Within the next year, over 20 singles became involved in a literacy ministry, plus they went on their missions trip. Michael wanted a class because he thought that’s what real ministry is. But Sarah didn’t feel called to start a class. She was, however, primed to live out her dream for God. We just needed to ask the right question and create the right environment.

One year later I again visited with Michael and Sarah. She laughed when she told me they had indeed started a class for the 1.5ers in their church.¹

THE THEOLOGY OF SINGLENESS

Not every church needs a program for single adults, but every church needs a ministry to and with single adults. In creating a call-driven singles ministry, you must begin with a foundation that has an adequate theology. Good programming cannot overcome bad theology.

We must believe that single adults are full members of the family of God. We must learn to accept singles regardless of how they got there. I’m not talking about acceptance of ongoing destructive choices; I am talking about believing that we are all sinners, and we start on level ground.

Our vision will have to overcome the stereotypes we have of single adults. Singles are not all just looking to get married. And when or if they become married, they will not be more whole.

Our vision will need to be for people, community-building relationships, and helping people become all they can be for Christ, not just programs or organizations. Our vision must integrate single adults into the whole life of the church and provide structures that emphasize this integration. One way to effectively do this is with small groups. Allow single adults to exercise leadership within the church body. I often ask churches whether they have singles on their deacon or elder board. That is usually a test of how single adults are seen in the life of the Body. Our vision has to begin at the top. To have an effective singles ministry in a church, you should have the total support of the senior pastor. However, the absence of pastoral support should not be a cop-out.

Have a vision that is based on serving, not sitting. Singles ministry is not just parties and socials; it is equipping single adults to be world changers. It includes a vision that sees the whole community and singles ministry as a service to the community, inside and outside of the walls of the church. Singles are ambassadors for Christ in the marketplace.

THE PLAN

How do you develop a plan? Many times prayer is not the first thing people do when they want to start a ministry. Usually they start a program and then ask God why it is not working. Start with prayer. Ask God if He wants you to start a program or ministry with singles.

Second, choose your objectives. Some objectives may include:

• Discipleship versus entertainment
• Christ-centered
• Helping singles to be the people of God before they do the work of God
• Finding needs and meeting them
• Start small, slow, and solid
• Minister with singles and not to them

Next, develop core values. The basic three are: worship, edification (fellowship and Bible study), and mission. One program can’t meet the needs of all single adults.

You must also be intentional about who you are trying to reach and how. There are five subgroups to reach:

• Potential (Evangelism)
• Newcomers
• Leaders
• Discipleship/Equipping
• Attendees

Help single adults gain ownership of their ministry. Have them take responsibility for leadership, keeping in mind that very rarely in a church can an effective ministry with single adults happen without paid staff. Our structures are not set up to succeed without a pastor to equip and release people to minister.

LEADERSHIP

Leadership will be key in starting and growing a single-adult ministry. Here are several things you need to take into account.

• Establish your theology of leadership. Volunteers are great, but this is not a biblical model for choosing leaders. All have gifts (Romans 12), but be selective. Before you choose a leader, have a list of qualifications for that leader. Singles ministry best happens by spending time with a few potential leaders before you start a program.

• Focus on each person’s calling as opposed to what you can get each to do. Are you building a health club, hospital, or emergency room ministry? Leadership that understands we are not just taking care of those poor singles, but equipping them for ministry, will build a health club to train healthy singles.

• Have job descriptions so singles know what they are agreeing to do. One thing that will make a difference is ongoing training for your leaders. In my book, Giving the Ministry Away,2 we offer a training course for your leaders.

• Develop a small group of singles to investigate starting a singles ministry. Meet with the senior pastor to get his support. Effective ministry begins with homework, not a program. Do some research—who are the singles in the church and community? Host a dream session and ask, "What kind of single adults do we want to produce?" That is the place where your assumptions come to the surface. Do you want to produce a social club for singles, an emergency room for singles, or singles that are fully participating in the life of the body of Christ and in the mission of Christ?

Begin by sponsoring a missions project, or consider a special worship service to reach single adults. Create a market plan. Start slow, small, and solid. As you begin, stay flexible and committed. No matter the size of your church, you may or may not have a program for single adults. But all churches, of all sizes, if they take evangelism seriously, will take seriously reaching single adults.

Rich Hurst is singles ministry resource director for David C. Cook, Colorado Springs, Colorado.

ENDNOTES

1. Rich Hurst and Frank Tillapaugh Calling (Dreamtime Publishing, 19), 10.

2. Terry Hershey, Rich Hurst, and Karen Butler, Giving the Ministry Away (Colorado Springs: Cook Publishing, 1993).

See Single-Adult Ministry Resources