Table of Contents

People Helping in the Church

Part 3: A Biblical Model for Counseling in the 21^st Century

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

By Donald A. Lichi

Previous articles in this series described the vision and basic counseling skills the 21st-century pastor must acquire to face increasingly complex problems in the local church. Saving the lost and healing the saved denote the church’s evangelistic and pastoral care missions. In the second article in this series, I described the essentials of a helping relationship along with various attending, listening, and responding skills. This article, and the concluding one to appear in the next issue of Enrichment, will present two important behavior change models: Praying Through to deal with past hurts, and Putting Off the Old Self/Putting on the New Self to deal with besetting sins and temptation.

People typically seek counsel for one or more of four basic reasons. They can be presented under the heading of four H’s.

• A horrifying image of God. People often perceive God as harsh, punitive, and impossible to please.
  
  
• Hurtful experiences from the past. Perhaps the person has been abused, neglected, or made poor decisions that continue to plague him or her with guilt.
  
  
• A horrible image of oneself.
  
  
• Unhealthy and destructive habits. The Praying Through and Putting Off the Old Self/Putting on the New Self models are practical tools to manage these concerns.

PRAYING THROUGH…
A BIBLICAL MODEL TO HEAL PAST HURTS

While none of us has the ability to change the events of our past, we have a great deal of control over the meaning we choose to give to the events of our lives. Furthermore, none of us lives according to the events of our past. Rather, we live according to the memories and the interpretations we choose to give to the events of our past. Thankfully, these interpretations can be edited. As Pentecostals, we trust the Holy Spirit to assist in the process of reckoning, or settling with God the account of our past, so we can live redemptively in the present and in the future. Two biblical examples will illustrate this point.

Jacob worked through his guilt and fear toward Esau through his encounter with God in Genesis 32—something we sometimes call praying through. Joseph determined to see God’s hand in bringing good from the apparent evil and injustice that had befallen him. He stated in Genesis 50:20, "But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good."

Paul had to reconcile the pride in his past and his zealous persecution of the church by reckoning with God (see Acts 9:1–19; Philippians 3:4–14).

Many believers are hindered in their Kingdom effectiveness because they have not settled some of the issues of their past. The Praying Through model¹ is an effective tool in reconciling one’s past. Here’s how it works (see sidebar for illustration):

1. Talk to God honestly about what hurts you. Take the lid off of your hurts. Pastors need to help counselees see that God isn’t surprised or intimidated by the concerns people present to Him.

2. Express your feelings about your hurts to God. People need to pour out their feelings to God until they are emotionally spent. Old-timers in the church called this praying through. That is, pray and bare your soul until you know you have touched the heart of God. This has the profound effect of lifting one’s burdens.²

3. Meditate for a new meaning from your old hurts. This is a time for silence before God as the Holy Spirit suggests new, redemptive, and constructive ways to look at your old hurts. This is a marvelous work of the Holy Spirit and fulfills God’s Word in Romans 8:28, "In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (NIV).

Remember, we don’t live according to the events of our past; we live according to the meaning and interpretations we give to the events of our past, and this meaning is being edited by the Holy Spirit.

4. Praise God for the new meaning He gives you. Continue to give thanks for the Holy Spirit’s work in your mind. This process will take time; but as you focus on what God has given you, the enemy’s grip will loosen.

While many of the consequences of poor choices in the past cannot be reversed, one can be freed to live in a far more redemptive manner when the Holy Spirit breaks through and brings healing to the hurts of the past.

Help the person seeking your counsel to view himself or herself differently. The following four points make this a practical tool. Each person who has come to Christ can learn to confidently say that he or she is:

1. LOVABLE—Counselees need to know that when they were lost and still God’s enemies, Christ died for them (Romans 5:6–8). If this is how much God loved them when they were His enemies, how much does He love them now? The Scripture uses the term, "much more." Richard Dobbins, Ph.D., psychologist and founder of EMERGE Ministries, suggests that people draw a picture of the cross on a piece of paper and write over it, "How much does God love me? Much more!" (see Romans 5:9,10.) If people can learn to see themselves the way God sees them, they won’t be able to hold on to an unhealthy self-image.

2. VALUABLE—"Value" is an economic term. What something is worth is determined by what someone else is willing to pay for it. Our salvation was not purchased with silver, gold, or any corruptible thing, but with the precious blood of Christ (1 Peter 1:18,19). Of course worth is not the same as worthy. None of us is worthy of salvation, but nonetheless we are of great worth to the Father.

3. FORGIVABLE—Many believers hold on to the guilt of sins long after they have been forgiven by the Father. This is never God’s will. If one continues to be troubled by condemning guilt after a sin has been confessed and repented of, this guilt comes from God’s enemy. God will forgive us of any sin that we will confess to Him (1 John 1:9).

4. CHANGEABLE—This is where the Praying Through model is particularly helpful. God is so interested in growing us spiritually that He will remind, teach, comfort, discipline, and suggest to us a way to escape when we are being tempted (1 Corinthians 10:13).

In summary, the 21st-century pastor is confronted with the common issues of a person’s view of God, hurts from his or her past, a horrible self-image, and destructive habits. In the next article in this series, we will examine a practical tool in helping the believer meet temptation successfully by putting off the old self/putting on the new self.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

ENDNOTES

1. For a more complete discussion of this technique, see: Richard D. Dobbins, Ph.D., Your Feelings…Friend or Foe? (Akron, Ohio: Totally Alive Publications, 1994).
   
   
2. A good example of this type of prayer is found in the imprecatory psalms of David (see Psalms 58,59).