Table of Contents

Interview With Thomas E. Trask

Ministering to the Family

When was the last time you took inventory of your church’s ministries?

Are there areas of ministry in your church that need reassessing or a clearer focus?

Taking inventory is a necessary step in the process of providing effective ministry. The most successful churches are the ones with a clear understanding of God’s vision for the church and community.

No single effort in the life of the church is as important and necessary as an intentional, well-defined family ministry. At no other time in our nation’s history has the family unit been more splintered and in need of ministry and care. Undoubtedly, the churches that will be the most vibrant and effective in the 21st century will be the ones that are giving structure and function to family ministry.

Thomas E. Trask, Assemblies of God general superintendent, understands the importance of a church’s commitment to the family. Drawing from his own experiences as a parent and pastor, he shares his thoughts on this important subject.

HOW IMPORTANT IS FAMILY MINISTRY TO THE LOCAL CHURCH?

TRASK: The church itself is a family, so it is important that the church understand the framework and structure of the family. The church must also minister to and address the needs of all the members of the family. When I pastored, I had to find ways to minister to the whole family—children, junior and senior high, college and career, single adults, young marrieds, middle-agers, and senior adults. I recognized that I couldn’t be all things to all people, regardless of the size church. So I brought in staff members to minister to the various groups within the family. Churches that can’t afford to hire additional staff are finding laypeople to help minister to families. By doing this we are addressing the needs of the family so no one is neglected.

IN THE AREAS OF SPIRITUALITY AND RESPONSIBILITY, HOW CAN WE ENCOURAGE FATHERS TO BE LEADERS IN THEIR FAMILIES?

TRASK: I recently spoke at a men’s convention at Brownsville Assembly of God in Pensacola, Florida, on the subject, "Fathers—Men, It’s in Your Heart." The Scripture says that God created man in His image. God created man with the God-given gifts and abilities to be the spiritual leader of the home. God has placed this leadership role in us. A man may say, "I don’t have that ability." But God created him with that ability, whether or not he chooses to exercise it.

It is a cop-out when a man says, "I can’t do that." He probably does not want to assume his responsibility. Some men might have greater abilities in this area than other men, but God will help all men fulfill this role if they will accept their God-given responsibility.

The family wasn’t put together by an organization or a committee—God put it together. He created the family and its structure. If men will take the responsibility of leadership in their homes, their families will follow them in the framework that God ordained.

AS A PASTOR, HOW DID YOU ENCOURAGE MEN TO ACCEPT THIS ROLE AS HEAD OF THEIR FAMILY?

TRASK: I had the privilege of being raised in a home where we had family worship before I left for school each day. That left an indelible mark upon my life. We practiced that in our home raising our own children. Some men do not know how to conduct family worship. As a pastor, I would periodically teach families how to conduct family worship. This is one way we can help men to fulfill their God-given role.

NOT ALL PARENTS IN A CHURCH ARE MARRIED. WHAT RESPONSIBILITY DOES THE CHURCH HAVE TOward SINGLE PARENTS?

TRASK: It is important to minister to single parents and help them fulfill the role they are in. Many single parents are not single parents by choice. They may be in that position because of something that happened over which they had no control—the death of a spouse or an unfaithful mate. They are not second-class citizens, and they are not odd or different. As a pastor, I heard people say, "I don’t feel comfortable in a family setting at church because my mate is missing." I assured them they were needed and welcome. They need the fellowship and relationship opportunities within the church so the whole church can minister to them and their children.

MANY PEOPLE IN OUR CHURCHES COME FROM BLENDED FAMILIES. WHAT SHOULD THE CHURCH’S ATTITUDE BE TOWARD THEM AND HOW CAN WE MINISTER TO THEM?

TRASK: In many cases, there are children from both former marriages and children from the present marriage. It takes understanding to work through these matters. Blended families need the church and the family structure to stand alongside them, encourage them, and help them. The church can be the agency that gives them help and instruction, and ministers to them. One of the greatest tragedies is when a blended family withdraws from the church. If they stay in the church, they will discover there are others who are going through, or have gone through, the same circumstances. These people can minister to each other because they understand.

ABUSE IS COMMON IN TODAY’S SOCIETY. HOW CAN THE CHURCH MINISTER TO THE ABUSED SPOUSE AND CHILD?

TRASK: There is no justification for spousal or child abuse in a Christian home. But the church is not immune from this kind of behavior. There is no agency in the world that should have a better understanding, a deeper heart, and a sympathy and empathy for these people than the church. Every church can provide healing to hurting members. The power of the gospel plus the love of God poured out through the body of Christ ministers to those who have been abused.

YOUR CHILDREN ARE STRONG CHRISTIANS, AND TWO OF THEM ARE IN FULL-TIME MINISTRY. HOW WOULD YOU ADVISE A BUSY PASTOR TO FIND A BALANCE BETWEEN MINISTRY AND FAMILY?

TRASK: Our priorities need to be in the proper order: the Lord first, the family second, and the ministry third. In the past we have gotten the second and third priorities mixed up. That is not God’s plan and purpose for the minister’s family. We took time for recreation as a family. Our oldest son Brad was a basketball player and the captain of the high school basketball team. He was chosen as Christian All-American. Friday nights we went to his basketball games. Also, we enjoyed attending professional sport games.

You may ask, "Brother Trask, did the ministry suffer?" No, the ministry did not suffer. God honored our commitment—what better testimony can there be than to have your family serving the Lord? What have I achieved, regardless of how successful I might have been as a pastor, if I lose my own family?

WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO TRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR FAMILY TIME WHEN THERE ISN’T AN EMERGENCY?

TRASK: That’s when you must tactfully say, "I’m sorry, but I’m committed to the family," and then hold to it. There are times, however, such as the death of someone in the church or an emergency in the church, where that situation needs to have priority. But children understand circumstances like that. It’s when the family becomes the third priority on a regular basis that children begin to say, "Dad and Mom are always involved in the church, and they don’t have any time for us." That’s when children turn bitter and you lose them. You send a message to them: "The work of God is more important than you are." That should never happen in a minister’s home.

WHY DOES THE DEVIL WANT TO DESTROY THE FAMILY?

TRASK: The enemy would love to destroy the family because if he destroys the family, he destroys the church. If he destroys the church, he destroys a nation. If he destroys a nation, he destroys the people of God. He recognizes there is strength in the family unit. It’s the family that makes up a nation, a church, and a home, so he viciously attacks the family and Christian homes. It’s easy to find reasons to not attend church; it’s easy to find reasons to not have devotions; it’s easy to justify misplaced priorities. We must guard against these so the enemy does not have an advantage over us.