When Good Preaching
and Discipleship Aren't Enough
I still have the picture, in a drawer someplace in my house. It shows a gangly adolescent–me, wearing a funny hat and a serious expression, talking to my pastor at a youth retreat. He had his hand on my shoulder, and to this day I remember what we were discussing.
It was time to make a decision about college. I wanted to go into ministry and was struggling about whether to go directly to Bible school or complete a university degree first. I chose the university route, and it was there that I first encountered psychology.
I was fascinated with what I discovered about human behavior, emotion, learning, mental illness, and counseling. As I took more courses, I began to see possibilities for using this new learning to bring honor to Christ and help to hurting people.
In those days few Christians seemed worried about psychology, and many were skeptical of counselors. I can see reasons for the skepticism that some Christians still have about counseling and especially psychology. Just as there can be bad theology, so there can be bad psychology. But I believe God led me into this field, and I know that every day He is using thousands of Christ-honoring counselors around the world to bring fresh hope, maturity, wholeness, inner peace, and healed relationships into shattered and struggling lives.
Numerous professional people helpers are Christ followers first, counselors second. Many are Spirit-led members of their local churches–individuals who seek to serve Christ and His church with their God-given insights and gifts of compassion. They are counselors committed to using their training and expertise to treat the emotional and relational problems that entangle so many lives.
Clearly I'm enthusiastic, but I know questions persist in the minds of many Christian leaders: Does the church need Christian counselors? Isn't good preaching and discipleship enough? Isn't Christ sufficient to meet all human needs? Don't the Scriptures tell us that believers have “everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness”? (2 Peter 1:3, NIV).
Does that leave room for Christian counselors? Why would the church need people like me?
THE BIBLE ENCOURAGES COUNSELING
We must begin our answer by looking to God's Word. Jesus was a teacher and a preacher, but He was also an effective counselor. He talked one-on-one to the woman at the well. He counseled Martha about her busy lifestyle and talked tenderly to a woman caught in adultery. Late one night He helped Nicodemus with his spiritual struggles.
Jesus often talked with people privately, shared their hurts, gave encouragement, and guided as they coped with their problems. Sometimes He helped people find forgiveness. He asked questions, listened carefully, and told stories that left people free to draw their own conclusions. When two of His followers were grappling with their grief and confusion on the road to Emmaus, He spent time with them, listened to them, and showed them what Scripture said about their uncertainties.
In the Early Church and throughout the New Testament, we see personal helping modeled and encouraged. Paul, for example, gave sensitive guidance and mentoring to Timothy. Barnabas was a consistent encourager. The Epistles overflow with principles for living, guidelines for solving problems, and instructions for specific people with tension in their lives. More than 50 times we read “one another” passages: “Bear one another's burdens”; “encourage one another”; “care for one another”; “be kind to one another”; “serve one another.”
Of course these words are not directed just to counselors. These instructions are for all Christians, but they are teachings that encourage the type of help, support, and caregiving that counselors have the calling, time, and special training to provide.
The ABCs of Counseling
-Paul A. Lee, Ph.D., is professor of family therapy and counseling, Assemblies of God Theological Seminary, Springfield, Missouri. |
MANY PEOPLE ARE HELPED BY COUNSELING
We've all heard the stories. George and Lynn–these are not their real names–started having trouble with their marriage almost from the beginning. Both were committed believers. Both were active in the church. Both wanted God's clear leading in their lives. But their personalities, attitudes, aspirations, and expectations for their marriage were different. Prayer didn't seem to help. Their pastor felt overwhelmed by the depth of hostility and apparent incompatibility in their relationship.
Soon they began withdrawing from each other. George stayed late at work and immersed himself in church work so he could avoid the tensions at home. Lynn found herself attracted to a young man at the health club and wondered if she could resist his not-too-subtle overtures, knowing that she was flirting with sin.
Finally, they went to a Christian marriage counselor. He took the time to listen carefully to their disappointments and disagreements. He helped them understand their disillusionments, taught them better ways to communicate, and guided them as they learned to rekindle their love for each other. The counselor modeled the love of Christ and helped the couple see how He could bring them together in ways they had never known.
Another couple was in despair over their 8-year-old son. He was boisterous in school, out of control, seemingly intent on creating problems, and disinterested in learning. An elder in the church reminded the parents of their responsibility to bring up children in ways that honored the Lord, but the parents were overwhelmed–at their wits' end.
Then a counselor discovered that the boy had learning problems, aggravated by attention deficit disorder. Medication helped with the disorder, providing the chemicals that his brain lacked so he could calm down and focus attention on what the teacher said. Remedial education classes taught him how to read like the other kids and enabled him to succeed in school. His disruptive behavior disappeared, and after several years of thinking he was stupid, he learned to settle down and thrive in school and in life.
There are those who say counseling doesn't help. Sometimes it doesn't. But many people, maybe some in your church, can tell encouraging stories about ways in which they have been helped by counselors who are trained to understand problems. Counselors can teach communication skills, help people get along, and show how to deal with inner conflicts and pain left over from the past.
The best-trained counselors recognize the influence of biology and know the role that body chemicals play–body chemicals that can sometimes create havoc even in Christian homes and individual lives. Literally thousands of scientific research studies have examined the work of counselors and demonstrated their effectiveness.
When I was a seminary teacher, I always had a few professors who were skeptical and sometimes disapproving of my field. How their attitudes changed when Christian counseling helped a member of their own families!
Over the years I have seen hundreds of people helped. This includes pastors and some prominent church leaders, whose ministries today are more effective because they had the courage to face the problems, struggles, insecurities, burnout, lusts, addictive habits, and other secret issues that were making their lives miserable and hindering their service for Christ.
I don't deny that counselors sometimes do harm, but we don't reject a whole field because a few people are incompetent. Some doctors aren't very competent, and some pastors may do more harm than good, but we don't reject all of medicine or dismiss the ministry because a minority are ineffective. Most have a Christ-honoring impact.
A Biblical Perspective of Counseling One way to develop a biblical approach to counseling is to study the life of Jesus and His relationships with others. The way He ministered to others is a model for all who counsel. Had compassion. Jesus' compassion for others is expressed in Mark 8:2: “I have compassion on the multitude.” Granted acceptance. When Jesus first met people, He accepted them as they were and believed in them and what they would become. Gave people worth. Jesus put people's needs before the rules and regulations that the religious leaders had constructed. Used discernment. He saw the needs of people and spoke directly to them. Said the right words. Sometimes Jesus spoke directly. Other times He was soft-spoken or conveyed His feelings nonverbally. Emphasized right behavior. He said to the woman caught in adultery, “Go, and sin no more” (John 8:11). Sought to have people accept responsibility. Jesus sought to have people accept responsibility for turning from their present condition. Gave hope. Jesus gave hope to other people: “And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible” (Mark 10:27). Gave encouragement. Jesus encouraged people as He ministered to them: “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (cf. Matthew 11:28-30). Emphasized peace of mind. Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you” (John 14:27). Gave inspiration. Inspiration provides the counselee with hope and with the desire to change and to receive. Reshaped people's thinking. Jesus helped people redirect their attention from the unimportant things of life to the important (cf. Luke 12:22-27). Emphasized teaching. Jesus often used direct statements in His teaching. Expressed authority. He was not hesitant, backward, or bashful but was authoritative. Admonished and confronted. Jesus said, “Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?” (Matthew 8:26). -Adapted from H. Norman Wright, Marriage Counseling (Ventura, Calif.: Regal Books, 1995), 31-35. Used by permission. |
THE CHURCH IS STRENGTHENED BY COUNSELING
Whatever Christians may think about counseling, they can all agree on this: God does not need counselors for the advancement of His kingdom. Neither does He need teachers, physicians, preachers, or anybody else. In His sovereign wisdom, however, He uses mortals like us to accomplish His purposes. He could give us instant knowledge of all truth and could bestow wisdom as He gave Solomon, but He chose instead to work most often through godly teachers. He could heal all our diseases in an instant and often He does, but for reasons that we don't fully comprehend, He brings most healing through the skillful hands of scientifically trained doctors and nurses. He could evangelize the world with the blink of an eye, but instead He has given this responsibility to evangelists, pastors, and faithful followers of Christ charged with the duty to go and make disciples. Instantaneously, God could wipe away all depression, anxiety, inner turmoil, and interpersonal conflicts, but He often works through compassionate human beings with the gifts of encouragement, discernment, and counseling.
HOW DO COUNSELORS STRENGTHEN THE CHURCH?
Christian counselors free pastors and other church leaders for the overall work of the ministry. Most pastors would agree: the demands of ministry gulp up large quantities of time and leave few hours for the concentrated caregiving that counseling generally demands. But no one person is called or equipped to do everything, not even the pastor. Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12 teach that members of the Body have different spiritual gifts and responsibilities.
My pastor is a warm, compassionate, people-sensitive man who has been gifted by God to lead our congregation. But he cannot deal with every marriage problem, ongoing depression, career decision, or inner conflict that the members of his church might experience. Freely and gladly, he makes himself available to counsel with those who want to talk. But sometimes problems are complex, beyond his area of expertise, or likely to be time-consuming. Then he refers these members of his flock to a dedicated Christian professional counselor. In turn, the Christian counselor uses his or her training and special gifts to help the hurting. This frees the pastor for other ministry responsibilities.
Counselors help pastors, missionaries, and other church leaders deal with difficulties in their own lives. Recently I attended a large conference on church leadership led by two prominent evangelical pastors. During their messages, both mentioned how Christian counselors had helped in times of special difficulty and rejuvenated their ministries as a result. One described how a counselor had helped when the demands of ministry almost destroyed his marriage. The other talked about the time he hit bottom, burned out emotionally, physically, and spiritually. With the support of his church board, he took time off, got help from a Christian therapist, and learned to pace himself for the effective ministry he has today.
When God's servants have problems, where do they go for help? Of course we go to the Lord who brings peace and help in times of need. But sometimes we need other people as well–just as Jesus wanted the disciples with Him in Gethsemane or Paul wanted his closest associates to come to him when he was in prison.
When church leaders need help, they may turn to other pastors, missionaries, or denominational leaders who are willing to give assistance. But sometimes it can be hard to share the intimate details of our lives with another busy church leader who may have limited time, energy, or inner resources to meet our needs.
What if a pastor or missionary is struggling with a failing marriage, uncontrollable kids, hostile criticism, or deep feelings of failure, insecurity, bitterness, or lust? Sometimes the best counselor is the person who can be objective and available–one who is trained to deal with the unique problems that may be draining energy, vitality, and effectiveness from God's chosen servants.
Christian counselors have their own unique healing ministries that can strengthen the body of Christ. Counselors have a ministry of rooting out and dealing with the aftermath of sin. In their in-depth training, counselors learn special helping skills and acquire knowledge about the nature of common emotional problems such as depression and anxiety. They are familiar with the impact of biology on behavior and have expertise in handling faltering marriages and dealing with interpersonal conflict. Some suggest that counselors take a paraclete role–being used by the Holy Spirit to come alongside struggling people to bring comfort, guidance, encouragement, and sometimes confrontation.
When I talked to my pastor at that youth retreat many years ago, I told him of my desire to go into ministry. God led me in the following years, but He didn't lead me into the pastorate. He led instead to a teaching, writing, and counseling ministry. I am grateful for my calling and honored that I can serve God and His church in the needed field of Christian counseling.
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