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Table of Contents
Ask the Superintendent
Life leaves in its path both the wounded and the hurting. Human desperation strikes at the cord of compassion in the heart of the caring, sensitive minister. By virtue of the office, the minister is a symbol to the hurting community of the meaningfulness of the Christian faith. Pastoral care and counseling become avenues of ministry by which the church stays relevant to human need.
 There is no escape from the counseling responsibilities of ministry. With it, however, come important safeguards that the prudent caregiver would be wise to observe. In his quarterly interview, General Superintendent Thomas E. Trask discusses the importance of pastoral counseling in the local church and offers candid advice to those ministers who counsel.
Should pastors be involved in counseling?
Some pastors have taken the posture that Christian counseling should not be a part of the church. I don’t believe that. I believe God has placed us in our role as shepherd to give counsel and help to those in need.
During the years when Brightmoor Tabernacle in Detroit, Michigan, was in a growth pattern, I involved myself in considerable counseling. Later on, we added a full-time Christian counselor to the pastoral staff to help carry the counseling load.
What were some of the counseling guidelines you followed when you pastored that you recommend other pastors follow?
So that the enemy does not have any advantage over ministers as they counsel, I suggest they follow these guidelines:
- Never permit yourself to be in a position with a member of the opposite sex that could appear compromising.
- Have an open-door policy so no one can accuse you of an inappropriate setting.
- Have your spouse or another person of the same gender present at all times when counseling someone of the opposite sex. (See Richard R. Hammar’s article “Counseling Ministries: A Legal Checkup,” pp. 43-46, regarding the clergy-penitent privilege discussed under subheading Method #1: The Third Person Rule.)
- Assure the counselee that matters discussed will be kept confidential. One of the things that destroys Christian counseling is if people know they can’t trust the persons present in the counseling sessions. Pastors who divulge confidential information in their messages or conversations destroy confidence in leadership.
- Do not allow too much of your time to be taken up with counseling. I discovered I could spend several afternoons a week in counseling if I was not careful.
- Counselees need to understand that they have to be willing to submit themselves to what the Lord wants to accomplish in their hearts.
Let me give an example. A lady in the church asked me to meet with her neighbor who was a kleptomaniac. I agreed. After 45 minutes of listening to the woman brag about her ability to shoplift and not get caught, I asked her if she came to me for help. Her reply was, “No.” There was no need for me to spend any more time with her. She didn’t want help. She enjoyed what she was doing. She was not a Christian and didn’t make any profession of being a Christian. It was kind of her neighbor, who was a member of our church, to want to help her. But people have got to want God’s help.
- Expect the counselee to attend your church services. Up front, you need to let people know that if you are going to give them counseling time, you expect them in services. They need to know that the power of God’s Word is able to correct, heal, and help their situation. But if people don’t want to attend your church services, then refer them to a secular counselor. Give your time to those who are part of the body of Christ that need and want help.
Pastors could literally spend all of their time counseling and never have any time to study the Word and prepare for the ministry of the Word. That’s why I found it necessary to establish and follow these guidelines for counseling.
Pastors need the gift of discernment to help them determine if a person who comes to them for counseling really wants help or just sympathy.
How can ministers avoid developing emotional attachments with counselees?
 I tell you what can happen. Not only can counselees transfer an emotional attachment to their counselors, but many counselors, pastors, and laypersons have been caught in a trap of countertransference. They become overly familiar with counselees and begin to allow their hearts to overrule their heads. Their emotions become involved. The counselor might have been well meaning and sincere in the beginning but became trapped by the enemy. Those who counsel should be compassionate and understanding, but they must never allow themselves to become so emotionally involved that they can’t separate their feelings from the counseling situation.
It is so subtle. Ministers must be very careful. Some people deliberately set traps to lead ministers into relationships that would destroy their ministries and marriages.
A good rule of thumb is to counsel the same person only three to five sessions and then refer that person to a professional counselor for any further help.
Did you develop a referral list of professional counselors in your community?
We did. When we brought a minister on staff who was doing a lot of the counseling, we also had a referral list.
Since most churches can’t afford a full-time counselor, what are some guidelines to follow in developing a referral list?
When it comes to matters of the church, pastors must know the person who is doing the counseling. I only referred to licensed professional counselors who were born-again Christians living victoriously. They had to be established in a local church and accountable to a pastor so that their reputation was above reproach. They had to have references. And we required bona fide credentials, including being licensed with the state. We were very careful which licensed mental health professionals we used.
How can ministers protect themselves from moral failure?
Ministers cannot be too careful. Let me give you an example apart from counseling. I don’t believe that a pastor or any pastoral staff member should be found in a car with a companion of the opposite sex–no matter how innocent the situation. I never allowed two staff members of the opposite sex to go out to eat together, even though both were happily married.
The Scriptures say to shun not only evil but the appearance of evil. Why should we give the enemy an opportunity to accuse us?
This holds true within the area of counseling. I believe the counselor’s spouse should always know where the counselor husband or wife is and what he or she is doing.
My wife always knew where I was and what the setting was, particularly if I had to work after normal working hours. I always had somebody close at hand in the office so I could never be accused of being in an unwholesome situation.
Ministers will be much better off if they will take these necessary steps to guard their lives and their testimonies. It’s better to be overcautious than reckless. Ministers can keep their lives unspotted and untainted in these areas.
We’re living in a deceptive age, and ministers need to be as wise as serpents and as harmless as doves so that they never bring reproach to the church of Jesus Christ.
There are many lonely people out there–many in unhappy marriages. Given the right setting, an unwholesome relationship could be nurtured that would be destructive to both the counselee and the counselor.
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